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Sunday, December 19, 2010

It's going to take a lot more to embarrass me

I am still wondering how this was my fault.  I was standing - completely still - waiting for my bus home from work.  I had my earphones in and my ear muffs on.  I have taken to wearing both so that I can zone out all the "spare change" requests on my travels around the city.  I was also working on a crossword puzzle.  I was not bothering anyone at all and again, I stress, I WAS STANDING COMPLETELY STILL.

Because I was in my own zone I didn't see it coming until it happened.  I was run over and knocked into the back of the bus stop.  I was run over by a young man on a scooter.  He had 5 feet of sidewalk space but it seems he headed right for me (see earlier blog referring to freak magnate).  Not only did he run me over but then he sat there on his scooter yelling at me.  As a crowd gathered to see what was going on I felt I should launch into some sort of defence.  Because I was still in a bit of a shock, I just stood there looking at him before calmly removing my headphones and earmuffs and said " I am sorry I didn't offer you more of a challenge.  Next time I will run around the sidewalk bobbing and weaving so as to provide you with a real game and an opportunity to test your hunting skills.  Not much of a challenge for you to hit someone standing still.  Merry Christmas"  People in the crowd applauded.  He started to scream even more that I was a bitch and offensive to disabled people and should not be allowed out in public.  Well, really, he had no idea.  It takes a hell of a lot more than that to embarrass me.   It seems smiling at someone and saying Merry Christmas tend to make some people very upset.

After he went away, I put the earphones and earmuffs back in place and returned to my crossword puzzle.  I was barely settled in again when I got a tap on the shoulder from behind.  Thinking someone wanted to see if I was ok, I took the ear gear off and turned around.  Standing in front of me was a guy who asked for my spare change (obviously the ear coverings are no longer a deterant).  I politely said no.  He stood there looking at me and then said "well, you obviously have a bank card so we can go across the street while you get me some cash".  Was he kidding?  Was the ghost of Allan Funt around the corner filming me?  I said not likely.  He began to argue that I was indeed a selfish bitch.  Yeah - that's going to work.  I had already dropped $20 into the Salvation Army bin and sent my annual cheque to the United Way.  I told him to go talk to them.  He started to get more agressive and again, I seem to have attracted a crowd.  All of this happened within a 10 minute period.  It seems my freak magnate was set to full attraction.

I made it home in one piece in time to get ready to meet my friend Heather, her new boyfriend and mother for an evening out at Van Dusen gardens.  It was a beautiful evening.  The sky was clear and the air crisp.  The gardens had done a fabulous job of more than 1 million lights strung through  part of the gardens.  There were carols being sung and hot chocolate to be had while we strolled.  I was very much put in the mood of the season - even more so when I ran into Santa for a Christmas grope - not once but twice.  Made my day.  I had a great time and enjoyed meeting Heather's new beau.  Because she is my friend, I even let him give me a hug goodnight.  As readers are aware, I am not a hugger - especially with people I just met.  She is going to owe me.

After enjoying lunch with my youngest daughter on Satuday, I spent the evening in front of the fire wrapping gifts and making the traditional nuts n' bolts.  This year was a success when I only burned a small portion.  I made enough to fill the entire turkey roaster.  I found out the trick is to make the seasoning plentiful and then slowly pour the mixture over the cereals and bake them slowly in a cooler oven.  This of course is a bit contrary to my usual style of cooking - if 350 degrees is good then 450 must be better.  I stirred every 20 minutes in a 250 degree oven for 3 hours.  I think they taste pretty good and once I finish picking out all the burnt shreddies, it will be perfect.

I am almost all set for Santa - only 6 more sleeps.  I just have some stocking stuffers to get, fressh veggies to purchase and the baking of my pies and tarts.  I wanted to do them this weekend but I have no room in my wee freezer.  I will have to bake at the last minute and keep my fingers crossed as I will have no time to re-do if necessary.  I usually need to have at least two tries before I get it mostly right.  My black bottom cookies are a family favorite.

I have a date for Wednesday night.  Not sure how I feel about it since I am rather busy at the moment.  I finally agreed to dinner but we may have to eat in a hurry so I can get home to finish some last minute items.  Hopefully he won't want to order dessert.

I will keep you posted.

Cheers and ho ho ho

Monday, December 13, 2010

No new dates

Sorry, been very busy lately and without time to blog. 

I had the grandkids over for the weekend last week and we decorated, shopped and went to the Santa Claus Parade.  They are old enough now that after I strung the lights, I let them decorate the tree themselves.  It is a wee bit bottom heavy and naked at the back.  And for some reason, all the candy canes are all clumped together in one location for easy access.  I was told we had to eat one each that night "just to check that they were ok".  Works for me.

I was invited to a wonderful Christmas party this past Friday.  I didn't want to look foolish in my usual attire (I own work and play clothes, not much in the middle) as the event was in a posh downtown hotel so I pulled everything out of my closet in search for something suitable.  I was in luck.  Tucked in the very back was a formal, almost floor length, dress from a few years ago.  I just needed shoes to go with it.  I found a cute pair just the day before the event.  Friday afternoon I rushed home from the office early so I could spend time bathing and doing some weed wacking on the legs.  I carefully applied make-up (that I hardly ever wear), did my hair and sprayed it within an inch of its life.  When I was all done, I carefully removed the dress from the cleaning bag and slipped it over my head.  It was stuck.  I tugged some more and finally got it past my boobs.  Oh oh.  Too late to find something else to wear.  What to do, what to do????  I was in a panic.  This is where my imagined invention would have come in handy.

 In a dream one night, I came up with the idea of Girdle Paper.  It would come on a role like the size of which you see in public washrooms.  It would be available in women's rooms around the world (ok, some men could also use it).  You would just pull off as much as you need and wrap it around the areas of concern and it would hold you securly in place.  If you happened to sneeze or something during the evening, no problem, just go into the ladies room and pull off some more to affix in the "sneezed off" zone.

Well, since I have not yet invented said Girdle Paper, I was at a bit of a loss as to what to do.  I finally got the whole dress on and in place, but noticed that when I turned sideways I looked about 9 months pregnant.  No way was I going to be able to hold in my gut all night long in this thing.  However, since I bought the shoes to go with it, I felt compelled to figure something out.  A blinding flash suddenly hit me......I happened to have an old pair of Spanx somewhere in my bedroom.  By the time I finally found them, my room looked vaguely similar to my grandsons bedroom after his friends come over to play.  I slid the spanx on over my hips and held my breath to see if really, in all honesty, if I could still breath, walk and talk while wearing them.  I then slowly made my way to the mirror to see if I still looked like I was 12 weeks overdue from delivering a healthy 12 pound son.  Whew!  Not perfect, but I could move - mostly.  What I hadn't counted on however, was the newest addition to my body.  It seems when you wear Spanx (or any girdle), you are are just redistributing the fat.  I now had two extra boobs coming out of the arm holes of my dress.  No time to worry, I just grabbed a shawl to cover it up.  I slipped on my new shoes and was out the door.

All was going well.  It was a wonderful dinner and the company was fantastic.  However, I learned a very valuable lesson which I am sure most of you already know but since I rarely get to get all dressed up, it was not one I was familiar with.  If you are wearing brand new shoes for the first time, do not try to dance and then walk 3 blocks to your car unless you come prepared with band-aids in your purse.  By the time I made it home, the Spanx were calling it a night.  As I undressed and hung up my dress, put my shoes away and dumped my purse on the bed, these little life savers were actually screaming for me to give them a break and I swear they actually yelled "for the love of all that is holy, take us the hell off and next time buy a larger size".  I really hate mouthy underwear.

I have to tell you what happened on Granville this afternoon.  So, a friend of mine came by my office for a visit this afternoon and as she was leaving, I walked her down to street level Granville on my way to grab some lunch.  After she left I stood there trying to decide what I felt like having today.  I must have looked like I was lost, a tourist or just an idiot.  Two young men came up to me and mumbled something.  Since they were freshly shaven and clean I heard myself saying 'excuse me?". (instead of my usual Sprechen Zie Deutsch?) Well, it seems that was the only invitation they needed.  The said something about Reiki (??) treatments and my Shockra (not sure how that is spelled).  Before I knew what was happening, they grabbed my hands and put the together and then started to wave over them and chant before moving to my head and neck area.  Being a little dumbfounded and having now drawn a crowd, I stayed put and let this happen.  It seems I have been un-aligned with the earth.  This has now been corrected and if it works, I will be at peace with the universe.   I have ALWAYS been at peace with the universe.  It just so happens that the universe hasn't always understood me and therefore declared war.  I guess I will see what happens now that we are at peace.  I am always hopeful.

Well, 12 more sleeps till Santa comes.  I am getting ready and if my family pays me enough, I may even decide not to cook this year.

I will keep you posted.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Ladies and Gentlemen - we have a winner!

After attempting to jump back into the dating fishing pond, I do believe I have landed a whopper. 

So, I met Mr. #11 for coffee on Saturday and ordered my usual tea while looking at the clock ready to time my retreat.  He appears normal - no second head or hump on his back (I can tell because his jacket hangs correctly).  He speaks english and appears to comprehend what I am saying.  I am enjoying the conversation and thinking I can stop looking at the clock when it happened.

After returning from the mens room, "Tom" sits back down with a grin from ear to ear.  I should have been more on the ball when he began sniffing a lot and rubbing his nose.  His voice got a little louder and he seemed to be a little antsy.  He then started to tell me how much he liked my smile and how I seemed "smart' (oy vey - where's my bus?).  He wants to know if he can see me again because he thinks that I am the smartest person he may know (not possible -since I was still sitting there).  You ready for the winning line?  " Are your parents retarded?  Because you sure are special!"

Holy crap!  How do you respond to that?  All I could come up with was "which hospital do you want me to call for you?"  I guess the line of coke he did in the bathroom gave him the courage to be stupid in public.

I feel like I am in the middle of a grand joke.  Someone is setting me up and planting these yokels on line for me.  I am most certainly a freak magnate.  A recap is in order:

1) the hugger
2) the poisoner
3) the alcholic gun collector
4) the "don't feel obligated to put out" guy
5) the paranoid 'spy' guy
6) the good conversationalist (with a wee drinking issue it turns out)
7) the retarded guy

I think I have been a pretty good sport.  I will continue only because, like the freeway accident we all have to stop and look at, such is my life.  I think I am also a bit of a voyeur - my curiosity is such that I really want to see what will happen next.  I can't leave mid-way through the show.

No dates this week as I am planning on Christmas shopping, baking and decorating.  This coming weekend I have the grandkids for our annual decoration, wrapping and Santa parade time.  I think they are the best dates to have.  No judging.

Anyway, will keep you posted.

Cheers

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Girl's Luncheon

My holiday's have started off slow and easy.  I have enjoyed a lay-in and afternoon naps.  I started my book and finished 3 cross-word puzzles.  I have cleaned the bathroom, made a chicken stew (from scratch), cleaned my bedroom, done laundry, dusted and washed the floors.  Boy am I a fun gal or what!   Not sure what to do with the next 10 days of vacation but am thinking I might go so far as to actually shave my legs too.  However, given that it is -5 degrees outside, perhaps I need the hair to help keep me warm.

On Monday I hopped on the bus and went downtown (only spent a few minutes in the office) to check out something at Sears. While waiting for my return bus, I was approached by a camera wielding reporter from the CBC.  They wanted to know my opinion on the woman who has announced her intention to go after Gordon Campbell's position as our new Premier.  I admitted I had never heard of this woman and had no idea who they wre talking about.  We enjoyed a good laugh.  We finished just as my bus pulled up.  I was feeling pretty proud of myself for my witty reparte' when I caught a glimpse of myself in the bus window.  Holy Crap!  I was going to appear on TVlooking like Nanook of the North.  I was clad in heavy black coat, scarf, mitts, boots and a fuzzy touque.  The only comfort I can take from looking like this is that other than a couple of whisps of blonde hair sticking out of my hat, I am pretty sure no one would recognize me - I hope.

The eve of my birthday found me having lunch with "the Girls".  It got me to thinking - at which point do your dear old friends stop being 'girls'?  We are a group that have been friends for over 20 years now and while we may not see each other as often as we would like, it is an easy friendship that can stand the test of time.  We may have moved on in different directions - having seen one another through marriages, divorces, death, children's issue and as we get older - the surgeries our bodies require just to keep us going, but the friendship is more valuable to me today than ever.
 We have had many lunches over the years where we catch up, laugh and tell outrageous stories.  While we still do that, something has changed as we have gotten older.  In fact, it was pointed out during our salad course that somehow our discussion had moved from that of  men, sex and children to hot flashes, bladder control,  who is on new meds and who can no longer enjoy a drink at lunch without the need to go straight home for a nap.  In spite of all this, I still consider us "the Girls".  Odd how our bodies and faces change but we are still just 'the girls" and I imagine this will never change - at least I hope not.

Tomorrow I am off to ambush my oldest child and her family.  Not wanting to spend my birthday alone (I hadn't heard any other offers), I called my child and invited myself over to her home.  I will arrive with cake and dinner in hand and force them to sing to me.  Should be fun.

As for my dating life - oy vey!  Not really sure what to make of it.  I have now had three dates with the same man.  While the first two coffee dates were fine and I enjoyed the conversation, I think dinner might have been a mistake.  I don't do too well with men who drink enough to get to the point of turning into goofs.  I think that if I had been one of his male friends it would have gotten to the point of the "I love you man" speech.  In short, I became very uncomfortable with his level of affection.  I might agree to another coffee date but anything after dark now that would encourage dim lights and a bottle of wine is now off the table.

Anyway, I have agreed to a coffee meet with someone new on Saturday.  I will keep you posted.

Ciao

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Another Road Trip comes to an end

Anyone who thinks travelling for work is fun and sexy.....is insane.

So, I am back after another quick road trip and I have the scars to show for my efforts.  Let's begin with a very bumpy plane ride - enough to make someone who doesn't suffer from motion sickness to feel ill.  The car I had reserved turned out to be little more than a coffin on wheels.  I always get a mid-size vehicle as I want a little more sense of safety when I am driving an unfamiliar vehicle on highways.  I  felt  shivers down my spine as a large truck flew past me causing me to fight to keep my vehicle on the road.

Well, I made it to my first meeting in one piece - no real thanks to the coffin car.  All went well, but it ran a little over so in a hurry to get to the next appointment, I only had time to run through an A & W drive-thru, grab a burger and keep going. I was trying really hard to be careful - having even tucked a napkin under my chin to keep my blouse clean when another large truck flew past (my wee coffin car had about as much gusto as a 2 year old trying to roller skate uphill) and I had to again grab the wheel to fight to stay on the road.  Needless to say, I now had ketchup and a pickle stuck to the front of my shirt.  I find it always so reassuring to attend meetings with stained clothing.  Nothing says respect more than a pickle in the lapel.

I made it through the meeting with a smidge of dignity left.  I was not to know, any shred of dignity I might still have would soon be gone and I would hang my head in shame assuring myself I would never again return to this hotel.

Upon check-in, as I was reaching into my briefcase, which was balanced on top of my suitcase, my purse swung around and got knocked over and spilled all over the lobby floor.  A group of kids chose that moment to burst through the front door and literally stomp on my toothpaste tube (I forgot to pack it in my suitcase so tossed it in my purse in the morning).  It made quite a mess.

I felt I deserved a nice hot bath.  After running across the street to the grocery store to pick up some fruit and a piece of chicken for dinner, I headed back to my room, ate dinner and ran a nice hot bath.  I enjoyed the soothing warmth and felt myself relaxing.  Afterwards, I slipped into my jammies to settle in for the evening.  Just as I changed, I heard some noises - rather loud noises - outside.  Since my balcony overlooked the parking lot, I thought I would pop outside and see what was going on while secretly hoping someone was stealing my car. 

I slipped out to the balcony and since the evening was quite cool, slid the door closed behind me to keep my room warm.  I couldn't really see what the problem was so turned to go back inside.  Imagine my surprise to discover that the lever on the handle was loose enough to plop down when I slid the sliding door close....AND LOCK!  I was trapped...in my nightie...on the balcony. 

My mind started to race.  My first thought was "crap, now I gotta pee".  My second thought was " You must be FREAKIN kidding me!"  When I calmed down, I tried the only thing I could do.  I started to yell for help.  Mind you, I was almost whispering at first as I wasn't at all sure I actually wanted anyone to find me like this.  There I was, in my favorite nightie, which quite frankly I wear more for comfort than for looks and it looks like it and a pair of white tube socks to keep my feet warm.  Very attractive.  I am sure some of you are wondering how come I am still single.

Gradually, since I was freezing my butt off, my voice got louder and I noticed a couple walking across the parking lot.  After they stopped laughing, they agreed to go to the front desk to get help.  After about 3 minutes, I could hear repeated attempts to get into my room.  However, since I am safety conscience when I travel, I had thrown the saftey catch on the door and they could not get in.  Another few minutes passed - seemed like about 10 - and a man showed up with a ladder to climb up to my balcony - thankfully I was only on the 2nd floor.  He had a drill or something and took one of the sliders off my door so I could get in.  Graciously, he barely looked at me.  Actually, I am not sure I wasn't insulted by him not even glancing at me.  He kept his eyes down the whole time.  Perhaps he was just trying to keep a straight face at the situation rather than being grossed out by my appearance.  (Did I mention I was also wearing face cream?)

When I checked-out in the morning, I was sure that word had spread through the staff when the clerk asked me if I ever warmed up and if perhaps the next time I stayed with them, I would consider packing a housecoat or robe.  Ha Ha

Have a coffee date on both Friday and Saturday.  Friday is a new guy - Saturday is a repeat performance.

Keep you posted.

H

Sunday, October 24, 2010

No dating update this weekend

I am in serious depression.  I am thinking of becoming an alcholic to deaden the pain.  How and when did this sort of thing start happening to me?

So let me start with telling you about my weekend.  It started with picking up my Grandson Xavier on Friday afternoon to go shopping for a new bike for his birthday.  We picked out a bright red 6 speed with matching helmut.  He and I then went for a ride around the seawall to Granville Island.  We had a great time and he seemed to really like it.  He is now an 8 year old delight.  I thought the time flew by with my own children but the grandkids seem to be on some sort of fast-forward.

After a Saturday afternoon spent on a soccer field watching Xavier's game, I headed to the grocery store to stock up on the necessisties of life.  Some stupid broad (I use that term loosly as technically it was hard to tell), decided it might be fun to turn right from the left turn lane nearly taking out my front bumper while heading into the parkade.  Said Broad then proceeded to wind down her window to yell at me for having the nerve to be in the right lane where apparently I wasn't just a second before her decision to turn.  To top off her indignity, I  am apparently a heartless creature with no concern for our planet since I choose to drive a gas guzzling pig of a polluter which is an affront to her personally.  I seemed to have made her madder when I started to laugh and point at her Escalade.

Sunday started off nice.  I spent the early part of the afternoon watching Rae, my 4 year old granddaughter play her final game of Tim Horton's Tim Bit's soccer.  I always enjoy watching her play.  She is a very serious player who goes all out and is funny as hell.  She hasn't quite gotten the concept yet that someone will be trying to take the ball from her and she isn't at all sure she likes that part.

If you are wondering when the depression set in...keep reading.  After the game, I rushed to my friend Monica's home for a promised wonderful lunch.  My GOD that woman can cook!  I ended up having to unbutton my jeans halfway through the meal.  Monica had invited a friend of hers to join us for lunch.  After a couple of glasses of wine and so much food, we were sitting in the living room enjoying good conversation when out of the blue....I was blindsided.  I didn't see it coming at all.  Not even sure how it happened.  "So, he says" you're 58 right?"  What the hell?  58?  I look 58?  Who said I was 58?  First the snotty kid at 7-11 a couple of weeks ago offers to sell me a seniors bus pass and now this guy thinks I am 58 years old?  He tried to qualify it by saying I looked good for 58.  Well, DUH, I look good for 58.  I wanted to say the reason I look good for 58 is because in reality I am 88 you nimrod!

I have decided I am no longer saving for a cruise - it is a full-out face lift, boob job, tummy tuck and butt lift.

Perhaps I need to look at my job.  Obviously, since working for this firm it has aged me dramatically.  I'll bet that if I worked for Disneyland or even McDonald's I wouldn't have aged this fast.  At Disneyland I could wear a costume and at McDonalds the grease from the fryer would make my skin at least look shiny.

I have a very busy week coming up.  Hopefully it will keep my mind off the fact that I am depressed and in need of putting my name on a wait list for 'the home'.

On the upside, I do have two dates coming up this week with two different men.  I guess I am going find out what a trampy 58 year old looks like.

Will keep you posted.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Where to start

Well, it has been a bit of a wild few days since my last post.  Everything from introducing a guest speaker as having 15 years of Sperm (instead of the more acceptable 15 years with the same firm) to running headlong into a totem pole to having yet another dating experience.

I must tell you, I was invited to a really lovely event at the Museum of Anthropology at UBC and I was having a really good time.  However, I was somewhat taken aback by the sight of a woman in a rather unique dress take a turn on the dance floor where I was offered a rather startling view of her right boob.  In my startled state, I stumbled a bit backwards, turned and slammed right into a totem pole in the middle of the room.  Not sure how that really happened since there was plenty of open space for me to move in and yet, I ran headlong into the nearest 20 foot totem pole.  As I fell back a couple of steps rubbing my forehead, the security guard came running up.  Mistakenly, I thought he was going to offer some first aid, instead he told me not to touch the display.  If I felt the need to touch something, I could wander over to the canoe on the other side of the room and touch it to my hearts content.  I blame the whole thing on my shoes.  I had been on my feet since 7:30 in the morning - in heels.  Those who know me know I do not function well in heels.  I have flat feet, have broken every single toe I own and well, let's face it, I am a tad clumsy. 

The day started with me hosting our annual compliance seminar.  As you know, hosting and MCing an event means introducing the guest speakers.  All was going well until my 1:00pm speaker and as stated at the top, my reading of his bio was going well until...... the sperm incident.  This too is blamed on my heels.

I had only one day to recover from this day of comedy errors before my next date. 

I have to admit that I was surprised that I even agreed to go on this thing.  He is not someone I would normally be attracted to at all.  However, he won me over when he knew the difference between Hemmingway and Steinbeck.  He had me agreeing to meet for coffee at noon today downtown.  I was expecting to be home by 1pm to do laundry and clean up the giant red wine spill in my living room (a whole other incident involving shopping, alcohol and food).  Imagine my surprise when I didn't head for home until after 5pm.  This is about 4 hours longer than I normally allow for these kinds of dates.

He didn't try to poison me, hug me, offer to buy me drugs, try to loose me in Costco or ask me to "put out",  It was a nice change.  We spent the day wandering around the city just talking and then went for a drink and calamari and talked some more.  I was just thrilled to have someone who could not only conjugate a verb but also had some interesting things to say and some strong opinions.  Then, just when I thought I might actually like to have him as a friend.......he might have actually blown it (not sure yet though).  Turns out, during a rather lively political discussion (I know - not normally a good date topic) it turns out he is a staunch Conservative - CAPITAL C.  He hates Rick Mercer (how can you hate Rick Mercer?), Obama, unions (ok - I can give him that one) the United Nations, big business and the CBC - oh boy does he ever hate the CBC.

Up until that particular discussion, he had won major points a couple of times along the walk.  He automatically moved to the outside of the sidewalk for me to walk in the inside.  My father taught me this is the correct thing for a gentleman to always do (and for goodness sakes Holly, quit fighting and just let a guy do it - along with hold the door and your chair).  I have now come to not only accept it but expect it.  I have been known to look like a bit of a fool standing in front of a closed door for 5 minutes waiting for my date to open it while he is looking at me like I have missed my afternoon medication.

Anyway, all in all, I did enjoy the afternoon.  Not sure I can actually get over the conservative bit though.  I  may be a bit more of a free range radical myself.  Can a capital C conservative and a materialistic, capitalistic, free thinking, radical go on a second date?   Frankly I have no idea - I have never had a second date.

I am going to have to spend some more time thinking about this one.  I will keep you posted.

By the way.... did I mention he is short?  I don't generally like short men.  He is only 5'7".  Ok, so I am only 5'3" but I prefer a man who is big enough to step in front and stop a bullet for me or at the very least, reach the turkey roaster on the top cupboard.

Stay tuned

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Bit of a snob

Ok, so it seems I am a bit of a snob.  Not a monetary snob but rather more of an intellectual snob. I don't consider myself a mental giant by any means but really, how does one become a 52 year old man and not know what a mutual fund is or where Disneyland is located?

So, date number 4 of Nannagramma's dating adventures started off ok enough.  We met at the Vancouver Flea Market.  It was a tad uncomfortable at first.  He has a similar appearance to my first husband and my family all knows how well that worked out.  However, due to recent remarks made to me by so called friends and family regarding my perhaps 'judgemental' ways with past dates, I decided to give it a real chance. 

We wandered the market place with me seeing nothing more than junk and he thinking he was in utpoia.  I started seeing problems.  But, I put aside my judgement and agreed to go with him to Costco and then get a bite of dinner.

Never mind the fact that he left me in Costco and I had to go back out and wait by his car in order to find him again, I really noticed  problems during dinner.

"Go ahead Holly and order a real meal.  I am paying for this so whatever you want is fine.  Don't feel obliged to 'put out' for me buying you dinner.  In fact, I will even spring for a dessert which will be the world's best massage."  This had me  looking for an escape route.  However, since I wasn't going to have to 'put out' (who says that anyway?) I ordered a big dinner.

During our dinner conversation, I discovered that there is no point to travelling outside of Canada when the great food of the world is right here already.  Isn't that the only reason to travel anyway?  (are you kidding me?)  I discovered that most of us have either gold or oil in our backyard (??).  I discovered that being a carnival worker gets you free ride passes (this is when his not working in a mine) and that's 'really really really' fun.  I discovered that there is no point in saving for retirement when the government conspiracy will just take your cash anyway.

Oh boy.  The shallow gene pool is now an aspiration.  I appear to have been shopping in the mental midget pool.

I feel like those who questioned my judgement levels should back off now.  I spent 3 hours (longest yet) - more out of curiosity I think - I wanted to hear what he was going to say next - before heading home thankful I wasn't going to have to 'put out' for a couple of fajitas.   I feel I was more than fair in giving him a chance.  Of course, those are three hours I will never get back.

Ok, I am putting the word out now - if I have any friends or family who have even the slightest bit of caring for me, please keep your eyes open for the following:

1 male between 49-55 years of age (unless you find that 80 year old millionaire orphan with a heart condition)
must be employed
at least 5'10"
must be able to read without moving his lips - bonus request - it would be nice if he reads more than pop-up books
Spelling is also a must - spelling well is a want
likes to travel
owns at least one tie
doesn't ask me how to spell my name
sense of humour
No felons please

See?  My list really isn't very long or complicated.  I think these are the kinds of things most woman want.

I am not giving up.  Somewhere out there must be at least one man with these qualities who will not feel ill when he looks at me and wants to at least go to a movie.

I will continue to keep you posted.

Cheers

Friday, October 1, 2010

Been away for a bit

It has been a busy couple of weeks since I last checked in.  I have been in a severe depression lately.  When I last went to purchase my book of one zone bus passes, the kid at 7-11 thought he would pass along the following information:  " Were you aware that you can be eligible for a reduced fare?  If you are of a 'certain' age, you get bus passes at a reduced rate.  Instead of $21 for the book, you can get it for $18."  I asked the obviously mentally challenged employee " how old do you think I am?"  He said he just assumed that since one of the kids called me gramma, I must be old enough for the discount.

I then spent the next two weeks seriously trying to raise a defense for for the obvious manslaughter charge I was going to face.  I went to my family doctor to start building the depression defence.  Unfortunately, all he advised was a manicure and a haircut.  He is a funny guy.  Might be next on my list.

I finally came out of my depression when someone mistook me for my grandkids mother rather than grandmother. 

After my depression ended I put my energies back into the dating world.  I feel like I am shopping in the shallow gene pool.  Thank goodness there is always a return policy.   Some of the contacts I have had make me feel like I am on Candid Camera or something.  Surely this is just one collosal joke.  I have had propsitions from 19 year olds who want a Mrs. Robinson who assure me that 'age is just a number and it doesn't mean anything',  Well of course not to him.  To me, his age reminds me to buy new underwear.  I am sure some of mine are about the same age.  I have also been contacted by what I can only assume is an espaped convict.   My personal favorite however is the fella who said he wanted to go for coffee and discuss the current political atmosphere.  He wants to discuss my joining a new political party - social communisim.  ?????  When I stated that while I loved a great debate on the politics of our time, I had no desire to join a political party.  Well it seems this set the man off and he informed me that it was people like me that are driving our province into the ground and he sincerely hoped that I never came to him for help when the whole thing blows up in my face.  Nice.  Who let these people out?

Despite the above, I am still trying.  I have discovered though that it is tough to match up with the lesser species (not you Dad).  We really are from 2 different planets.  Mine is earth.  However, I am making another attempt.  I am going for coffee on Sunday.  This guy seems ok and so far, while he looks like an escaped convict, he sounds like a college proffessor. 

To get ready for this meeting of the minds, I have a new haircut and manicure.  I bought new glasses (so I can see what he really looks like) and of course, the 19 year old reminded me to buy new undies.  I am set.  We will meet in the middle of Granville Island.  I will have my rape whistle ready just in case.  

Granville street has been wild of late.  Due to the really nice weather, everyone is out in full force.  Today brought the duelling bands with the crazy lady and her tamborine in between.  Gave me enough of a headache that I could no longer wait for my bus.  I decided to take the train home instead.  The train happened to hold an eclectic mix today.  I had someone pull my ear piece from my ear (and still yell at me) and ask me if my briefcase was mine.  What???  Really?  I am holding it and he wants to know if it is mine?  Instead I smiled sweetly and said no.  I recieved a response that was totally unexpected.  He just looked at me and said "I thought so".  I find making friends on the train pretty easy.

I will keep you posted.

Cheers

Friday, September 10, 2010

Duelling Skinny White Boy Rappers

What a week!  Granville street has gone back to traffic travelling on the 2-3 blocks between Robson and Dunsmuir after about 5 years of closure.  Now my bus gets off right outside my door.  While it is nice for me, I miss the wandering foot traffic and weekday shows that used to pop up each day.

However, I was treated to a couple of interesting things this week on Granville.  The first was the duelling skinny white boy rappers.  One was set up just in front of The Bay and the other was about 100 feet away by the entrance to the Canada Line.  Frankly, I was embarrassed on thier behalf.  It was plain embarrassing to see/hear and watch.  Tough to pull off black rap when you have a scruffy beard and are wearing cordoroys.  Not to mention, they were both just plain bad.

Later on in the week we were regaled by two separate Bon Jovi enthusiasts.  Can't get whiter than that.  They were not that bad.  However, it lost a little something with the streetcars and buses rolling up and down the street momentarily drowning them out.  There was a bit of excitment as one set up right beside a fella who had set up shop to sell his wood carvings.  However, he had quite a scam going.  At one point the wood carver asked him to please "shut the hell up" and quit singing in his ear.  The guitarist offered to move for $20.  The carver paid it and the singer moved down the street.  I am thinking I should just walk up to folks and start singing and when they ask me to leave them alone, I will offer to do so for $20.  I could make a killing since I have been told not only that I cannot sing but that I am also downright annoying at times (see brother for confirm).

Twice during the week, while awaiting my bus home, I watched individuals intent on playing 'chicken' with the buses.  They just step right off the curb and into the line of an oncoming bus.  For one fella, the horn of the bus blasts and he stops dead in his track with that 'dear in the headlights' look.  The bus honks again and he is still standing there.  Finally, someone else steps into the street and pulls him to the sidewalk.  I am thinking this man is obviously brain dead as he then proceeds to swear (at length and at top volume) at the bus.  He is under the misconception this is still a pedestrian walk-way.  He demands that witnesses come forward and agree to give him the number to the bus company so he can launch a lawsuit since he was almost killed.  Since he lived, it seems he suffered traumatic side effects.  I offered to push him back into the street so that he might be killed and then he would have a better chance at winning that lawsuit.  I thought it was funny.  Seems I am the only person on Granville with a sense of humour.

I am quite excited.  I finally had the opportunity to get my eyes checked and order my new glasses.  The Bay happens to have a 50% off sale for a full set of specs.  In 3 weeks, I will be the proud owner of my very first designer glasses - Marc Jacobs thank you very much.  I have put in a special request to have the name brand enhanced on the arm piece but it seems they think that is tacky.  I think it is along the lines of when you lose a bunch of weight and you purchase a dress in one of the single digit sizes, you want to wear the tag on the outside.  There was no need for the Optician to look at me that way.

So, today, my friend Heather came to my office to take a few pictures of me so that I can go back online and back to dating.  I got home and discovered a problem - she sent them all via some other non-compatible system and I cannot use them.  Part of me is thrilled - I looked all old and wrinkly - and I thought I wouldn't have to sign up again and the other part of me was depressed - OMG - I looked all old and wrinkly.  I am thinking that perhaps I should wait until the face lift before doing this again.

I have an appointment next week with a plastic surgeon who does layaway.  If I pay for 2/3 of the procedure then they will proceed and I can pay for the rest afterward.  I am thinking along the lines of a mini-face lift.  Nothing so drastic that I walk around looking permanently surprised but enough so the old and wrinkly will be gone.  Bonus if I can actually look younger than my oldest child.  I will keep you posted on how the appointment turns out.

Have a great weekend and stay tuned

Holly

Monday, September 6, 2010

Staycation

So today is the last day of my wee staycation.  It has been a very busy time.  It started with my spa weekend (and we know how that turned out) and is ending with laundry, dishes and cleaning.

Here is a snapshot of my week - I took the grandkids to the PNE on the rainiest day of the whole fair.  On the upside, it wasn't busy.  But on the downside, I just about froze my backside off.  We started off with a treat - well for them since just ordering them made my arteries clog and my butt widen by 3 inches.  The kids shared an order of deep fried oreos and deep fried jelly beans.  Turns out, they liked the oreos best.  We spent the afternoon discovering the origin of candy, watching the Superdogs, pig races, petting zoo and then made our way to the rides and games.  Normally, we do the rides in July at Playland and everything else during the fair because of all the lines.  However, this time since it was just about a ghost town, the kids were allowed to pick two rides each.  I almost fell over - I thought I was going to have to call the bank for a loan.  The tickets are $1.50 each and each ride took between 3 and 7 tickets.  Well, when Xavier picked his second ride I was shocked.  My wee man took to the roller coaster like a duck to water.  He loved it and wanted to go again and again.  However at $10 a pop, he is going to have to get a job first.  We spent 8 hours at the fair and everyone was tired and wet by the time we made it home.  After bath time and some cartoons, it was bedtime.  We had another big day ahead of us.

Up at 6:30am and breakfast and then pack up for the ferry ride to the island to visit my father and step-mother.  The ferry ride was a blast.  The kids had fun playing on deck and dancing around in the wind.  After a wonderful lunch served in little plastic pails, we headed down to the beach to search for shells and any other organisms we could find.  Lexie showed no fear and walked directly into the water with no thought to the fact that her boots were filling with water.  I tried to warn her and hold her back but it was only a matter of time before she fell in the ocean.  Surprisingly, she lasted longer than I thought - about 15-20 minutes before she fell in.  Rae on the other hand, was very careful as she didn't like to get dirty.  She is very much a wee princess.  Xavier discovered his boots are not at all waterproof.  We collected shells, crabs and found a huge jelly fish that had washed up on shore.  It was a blast.  The kids played with toys, games and we ate and ate and ate.  Joyce, my fathers wife, is an amazing cook.  We got to play camping as well by sleeping in thier 5th wheel.  The kids had a blast and can't wait to go back.  In fact, as we pulled away on Thursday for the trip home, Xavier wanted to know if we could come back to Great Grandads for Christmas.  "How can someone not be home for Christmas?  What will happen to him and how will Santa find him if he is not here?"  I said he was going on holiday to Mexico and that just didn't sit well with him.

Friday had me heading back to the PNE for the concert of Cyndi Lauper.  While it was a great concert, from what I could see, it was also the busiest day of the fair and it was so crammed with people I could hardly move.  I stood beside this man who decided to sing along with Cyndi - great, now I had stereo - bad stereo.  I smiled at him as he was obviously having a blast and he offered to hand me his microphone - a used candy floss cone.  I passed by stating I had a sore throat and decided to move away before he wanted to offer anything else.

Saturday had my brother and I being invited to a BBQ with our cousin Rob at his place.  The salmon was delicious and the company wonderful.  We stayed much longer than I expected and had to coast back into the city on gas fumes as I forgot to fill up for awhile.  We tried a couple of different exits before we finally found a station open at 1am and almost literally coasted to the pumps on fumes.  I really have to stop doing this.  It would not be the first time we ran out of gas.  Because I no longer drive I often  seem to think that the gas fairy will show up and keep me gassed and loaded to go.

Sunday, I met up with a very dear friend and her husband.  We went to a lunch of grilled cheese and lobster sandwiches........mmmmm yummy.  We wandered off to watch the cruise ships leave for Alaska (I am assuming).  I sooooo wanted to be on one of them.  I really don't care where they go anymore - just put me on a ship and I will be happy.

Well, with back to work tomorrow I am hoping to get back into the swing of things where I will bite the bullet and perhaps date again without wanting to shoot myself in the foot.  I guess I will also have to buy some pantyhose as my days of bare legs have come to an end as well as put my white pants away.

Stay tuned

Monday, August 30, 2010

The Best Laid Plans........

Perhaps I should just go through life never planning anything - just fly by the seat of my pants and see what happens.  I usually feel like I am doing just that anyway.

So my vacation started off very promising.  I got up early and showered and shaved (can't have a massage with stubbly legs).  I had packed my bag the night before and was out the door by 10:00am Saturday.  I was so excited to be spending a weekend by myself at a Spa.  I was warned that perhaps I was heading to the border at the wrong time, but I really thought the rush would be over by the time I got there at 11.  I was horribly, horribly wrong,  As I made my way to the truck crossing - Peace Arch was showing a 3 hour wait, I was stunned as I got closer and saw the traffic backing right up the hill on 176st.  Thinking that I was smarter than your average bear, I made my way to the inside lane and zoomed past everyone at a complete standstill and snuck into the duty free store.  I figured if I bought something, I could sneak out the otherside past everyone else.  Well, it seems that I was sadly misinformed.  They had the parking lot set up with 11 lanes that they let out into traffic one at a time - over 2hrs and 55min.  I had to call the spa and delay my first appointment at 1:45pm.  I almost finished my book by the time I made it through.  Remember, that 2hrs 55min was just until I could ease back into traffic.  It took another 25 minutes from there.

I finally arrived at my destination tense, tired and all sweaty.  Now the real fun could begin.  But wait!  It gets sooo much better.  So I had planned everything down to the penny - including tips for spa treatments and dinner.  I paid my mastercard bill via the internet on Friday so I could use that for services and hotel room with a little bit of cash for meals and entertainment.  Imagine my surprise when my card was declined upon check-in.  I promtly called the card folks who explained to me that paying via internet meant that I didn't get credit for the payment for 2 business days (at least).  In otherwords, I would be home for a day before I got credit for it.  Once I got over my embarrassment, I used the cash I had on hand to pay for the room and the days treatments. 

My room was lovely and I had a nice comfy white robe and slippers waiting for me on my bed along with a schedule of all the spa treatments I had planned for the weekend.  I was in a hurry so I unpacked quickly, slipped on the robe and headed to the spa.  I must say, I experienced the most wonderful 90 minute massage of my life.  I am not sure I actually fell asleep but when she was done, I had drool running down my chin.

Back to my room for a shower and off to dinner and a little blackjack.  I am used to eating alone in public places.  I just bring my book and settle in to ignore everyone else.  I am not sure any of the servers in this particular restaurant have ever dealt with a single woman eating alone.  I presented myself to the Hostess for seating.  She promtly asked how many.  When I gave her the lonliest number, she took off her glasses and looked at me.  She then patted my hand and told me not to worry, they would take care of me.  Really?  If I had been a twosome, does this mean we would have been left to fend for ourselves?  She then pulled a waiter over to seat me and leaned in and said "she is by herself, so make sure she is comfortable."  he actually took my hand and led me to the table.  He then LOUDLY called over to a busboy to come and clear the extra setting as MADAM WAS DINING ALONE!  Oh boy, did I feel special.  An elderly Native American (see, I can be PC), wandered over to my table and sat down.  He said I looked good enough to eat.  EEEWWW.  "I am sure you won't be alone for long".  I didn't feel hungry anymore.

After a very fast hovering of my meal, I headed to the casino and the cash machine.  It didn't work.  My card was not accepted.  Since I used all my ready cash for 2 nights stay plus the days 2 spa treatments, I was coming up short.  I decided to call a friend, who has been there for me in the past (not sure what I expected her to do) but now my blackberry wasn't working either.  Not the best of starts to a lovely weekend of rest and relaxation.

I racked my brain.  How was I going to make it through the weekend with no bank card and no cash.  There was a lesson here - stop relying on electronics.  Thankfully, I was at a Spa not too far from home.  I could be there and back in 2 hours - assuming no boarder issues.  I headed for the boarder and the bank machines at home.

All was good, I ran the house, grabbed what I needed, hit the bank machine on Broadway (tada - it worked) and headed back to the boarder.  The wait this time was only 15 minutes.  However, try explaining what happened to the boarder guard and not get in trouble.  Turns out, he wasn't buying at all.  It was a disturbing event.  He made me turn off my engine and get out of the truck.  "Please move to the front of the vehicle and place your elbows on the hood of the car and do not move.  Stay looking straight ahead."  He then called someone over and examined my car with mirrors underneath and then they climbed in the back and took everything out.  Normally, I thought if they were going to search you, they moved you off to the side not in front of everyone.  They then brought a dog over to snip both me and the car.  That had me a bit worried as I was still covered in lotions and creams from the massage.  No telling what they use in the products and what might set a dog off.  These Boarder guards already thought I was an idiot as I tried to explain myself.  Needless to say, they finally let me go - another hour I will never get back.

I awoke rested and refreshed after my late night antics.  I went down to enjoy my breakfast.  How on earth do you screw up eggs?  These were so incredibly rubbery I could not eat them.  Thankfully, the wait staff were prepared for me this time and I was shown directly to a single seat.  I think I felt a little let down not to be considered "special" this time.

I had time to get back to my room and put on my robe and slippers again.  I had another two treatments scheduled.  I enjoyed the most incredible facial of my life.  It started with a 15 minute back and shoulder rub.  The whole thing was delicious and I highly recommend it.  This was followed by a manicure and mini-pedicure.  The mini part is because I HATE anyone touching my toes.  I just had my feet pumiced and my calves massaged and generally just enjoyed it.

After a small swim in the pool and a shower, off to lunch.  I decided I would just eat at the snack bar and sit down to play some cards.  Long story short, I played for a couple of hours, went for a walk and then  it was time for dinner.  I was prepared this time.  Nothing to prepare for this time.  The waiter from the previous evening, came right up when he saw me and whisked me to my table without saying a word.  However, his look said everything.  I am going to die alone.  Played a little more after dinner and then went to enjoy my room - big comfy bed and giant flat screen tv with 8 movie channels.  I was buffed, lotioned and happy.  The previous nights adventures were forgotten.

I checked out slowly this morning wishing I could stay longer but the Spa is closed on Monday's.  I guess to make up for the debacle of the last two boarder crossings, I was through in less than 5 minutes and home in less than an hour.

I highly recommend the Silver Reef Spa Hotel and Casino.  The room was very nice, the Spa was fabulous and it seems they watch out for singles.

I have a very busy week planned since technically, my vacation days start today.  So, stay tuned.

ciao

Sunday, August 22, 2010

A learning weekend

I learned something new this weekend.  I now know what a "happy pack" is.  When my bus broked down on Hastings street across from Pigeon park and the homeless mission and I was waiting for a new bus, I was approached by a young man with enough piercings so that should he insert a garden hose in his mouth, he would sprout leaks.  His sales line was " you look like a gal on her way to a happy place."  (must have been my fanny pack, camera and the kicker - the pass to the PNE in my hand).  "I could make it happier for you by offering you this one of a kind offer of this weekend's happy pack for tourists.  For just $50 you can purchase a whole lot of fun - 2 percocet and 2 fentanyl (?)."  Well, you learn something new every day.  My idea of a happy pack is 2 Kitkats a Mars Bar and a coffee crisp.

It seems that a number of my fellow travellers were also surprised to hear of the happy pack.  After a number of "Sorry Full" busses passed us by, we were finally able to get on another bus to take us the rest of the journey to the opening day of the PNE.  It was a great day.  I sat outside Empire Stadium for an hour or so and listened to the Beach Boys followed up by a trip on the Roller Coaster.  Love that thing.

I spent the next 5 hours wandering around, watching the Super Dogs and of course eating.  A new thing this year - deep fried jelly beans.  They have set up beside the paramendics booth in case any of that heart attack on a plate makes an appearance.  I had my annual funnel cake which only required a couple of Rolaids.

Around about 7:30 I went to the beer garden to listen to Nearly Neil.  He is actually not half bad.  However, it seems you are not allowed to sit in the beer garden if you do not order a drink.  It was time for me to leave anyway.  I had an 8pm appointment to go watch Kevin Costner perform,  Each night, the centre stage is filled with performers for the price of your fair entrance.   Saturday was Kevin.  I really didn't expect too much.  I just wanted to stare at him for an hour or so.  Turns out, it was better than I expected.  He was backed by a really great band.  I hadn't realized that he had such a southern twang.  It was quite enjoyable sitting on the grass, eating my annual Gyro and listening and staring at Kevin Costner.

Now that I have had my own time at the fair by myself, I will go back with the grandkids during my week off (5 more sleeps), My trip to the fair, knock on wood, did not result in anything broken this year- no toes, ribs, ankles or feet.  I feel pretty safe now that I have tested it, to take the kids to the fair this year.

By the way, on Sunday we discovered that Sears has a sense of humour.  I took my brother Kris to Sears to purchase a new vacuum cleaner (blew mine up on Saturday - literally),  We drove downtown and parked in the handicapped spot right across from the sign that pointed  to Sears.  Turns out, they put the handicapped spots beside the stairs with the elevator on the other side of the parking lot.  It was like " we'll give you the spots because by law we have to, but we don't have to make it easy for you to come inside." 

Ah well, all in all a very good weekend.  5 more sleeps till holdiay.  Stay tuned.

Cheers
Holly

Thursday, August 19, 2010

What a wacky week - so far

As we all know the beginning of the week was somewhat toasty.  I left the office and made my way peacefully to my bus stop for the treck home.  I decided to wait in the shade beside the stop to try and avoid the prospect of a heat rash.  I saw my bus coming so started making my way to the pole where I expected him to stop (seemed logical since this is where he always stops).  I looked up in time to see that the bus was not even slowing down.  I waved my arms and jumped around a bit and he finally pulled over.  As I was getting on he starts yelling at me "If you are not at the pole when I start down the road, I am not stopping for you ever again." (like this has happened before)  The heat must have gotten to me because I replied "I was at the bus stop just standing in the shade since it was 400 degrees at the pole."  " I really don't give a crap how hot it is - you wait at the pole or I don't stop it is that simple." he stated.  Imagine my surprise when I responded with "Well, first get your knotted up kickers out of you butt and open a window for a cross breeze so you can cool down and second, if you hadn't been going 60 down Howe street, it would have been easier to see me and stop."

I then calmly made my way to my seat.  However, it seems I had upset the driver who proceeded to speed up and slam on the breaks every chance he got.  At one point taking a corner so fast that not only did my purse and bag fly off the seat but so did a couple of other passengers.  The fella sitting behind me tapped me on the shoulder with " While I can fully appreciate you standing up to the driver, did you have to piss him off enough that the rest of us are wishing we had seat belts?".  I finally managed to make it home safe and sound with only a banged up wrist from almost falling during one of the breaking incidents.  I am thinking that some of these drivers do not understand the concept of the limousine service they are providing me.

Tuesday brought with it some nakedness.  Relax, not mine. So, I am walking down Georgia with 3 other lovely ladies (we were the fab 4) on our way to a wonderful lunch (Four Seasons - crab BLT mmmmm yummy) when it was brought to my attention that there were a couple of naked women standing on the corner.  They were there for PETA and had writing all over thier bodies such as "rump roast" on the bums.  I suppose I would be a bigger supporter if I happend to look like these young ladies.  Grown men in business suits began tripping over one another.  Granville street is always full of fun and interesting people.

Wednesday brought me up close and personal with the Hare Krishna folks.  I went over to The Bay to take advantage of the 'free gift' from Estee Lauder (buy $100 worth of spackel and they give you free matching eyeshadow).  On my way back to the office, it came to my attention via a noise not unlike when I stepped on my cat's tail, that the group had moved over to other side of the street - now directly in front of The Bay.  I think the drum had a hole in it and the tamborine had only one 'tambo' left.  This left it up to the singer of the group to make up for the lack of instruments.  As I stopped to give aid to someone in obvious pain, it was rather rudely pointed out that no assistance was required nor wanted.  Talk about Hairy little Krishna's.  I was forcefully subjected to pamphlets and I think they sprinkled me with what I assume is holy water (but smelled more like Mountain Dew) and pushed  aside.  Last time I try to help them.

Today, with the cooler weather, I am going to head home and perhaps turn on the stove.  It will not surprise any of my friends that I can count on one hand the number of times I have actually turned the thing on but today I feel like I am in the mood to actually cook something in the big white box taking up space in my kitchen.  I feel like perhaps lasagna should be on the menu.  Of course this means I have to get off the train at Save-On foods, hoof it around with all the other single shoppers running around in there at dinner time and then carry it all home (2 1/4 blocks - but very long blocks) in the plastic bags they give me.  This will warrant me not only snide looks from the cashier and the other shoppers in line (I live in a very eco friendly neighborhood where we recylcle cat litter) but I will be faced with sneers, sidelong glances and cat calls all the way home.  I should have brought my reusable bags to work.  Come to think of it, this seems like a lot of work and agony when I could just go home, put up my feet, and eat the rest of the ice cream before it goes bad followed by a plum to make it a balanced meal (fruit and dairy).  Tomorrow I will remember the grocery bags before I leave the house.

Have a great weekend and stay tuned.  I have some exciting stuff coming up.

H

Monday, August 16, 2010

Fantabulous Weekend

What a great weekend.  I had a date with the most perfect of the male species.  It went so well, I invited him to stay over - not just one night but 2!!!!!!!  He was funny, energetic, happy and very complimentary.  He didn't hog the whole bed and he put the seat down after he used the bathroom.  What more could a girl ask for?

Might as well tell you, my ideal date weekend was with Xavier, my 7 year old grandson.  We had a blast of a time.  After I picked him up on Friday, we went for a bike ride around to Science world then back up to Broadway and Canadian Tire (for swim goggles) and London Drugs (sunglasses) then home to watch a movie - Looney Tunes Back in Action.  Best movie I have seen in a long time - what I could hear over the laugh out loud chuckles.  Chocolate milk and potato chips in bed with a movie is what I call fun times - until you end up sleeping in crumbs.  I woke up smelling like salt and vinegar.

The morning brought with it sunshine and the idea to ride our bikes to Kits beach and hit the pool there.  It is a good mile and a half from my house so we set out early to ride the seawall.  Xavier kept up very well and not once did I hear "are we there yet?" or "how much farther?".  We swam for about an hour or so before the X man decided he needed to warm up with some sunbathing.  He seems to have very little by way of the ghost rider gene pool I come from.  He is so tanned it makes someone like me who comes in only 2 colours - red and white, very jealous.  By the end of sunbathing - him and hiding under a tree - me, it was time to find slurpees to cool off.  After some riding around Kits we found our slurpees and headed on home.

It was time to clean out the tickle trunk - which we do once a year in order to make room for new things.  The wee girls (Rae and Lexi) had done their bit to clean it out last weekend and now Xavier had to finish it up.  As he started to sort things out into plastic bags, he asked me "Nannagramma, can I do some charity?"  Turns out X wanted to collect more toys and give them to Children's Hospital.  (Have I mentioned I am an ever so proud NannaGramma?).  He asked if when he finished with the tickle trunk he could go around my neighbourhood and ask other people to donate toys - or "how about some cash?" (like his style).  We settled on him just asking for toys.  Around 5pm on Saturday afternoon, we drove up to the front door of Children's Hospital with 3 big bags of toys.  My favorite wee man then got very shy and forgot his name. 

After diner that evening I thought he deserved a treat for being the perfect grandson for the perfect Nannagramma :).  We again hopped on our bikes and decided to ride around to English Bay (a ride of an easy 2 miles each way at least) to treat ourselves to a special cupcake from the Cupcake store.  Suffice to say, by the time we got home almost 3 hours later, I had to lay on my stomach on the bed.  First because, everyone knows, if you eat something like a highly caloric cupcake, the sooner you lay down on your stomach, the sooner the fat spreads out.  There is no time for it to settle in the stomach region.  Honest.  But almost more important was the fact that I could no longer feel my backside.  My bum was numb.

My date with the perfect 4 foot tall wee boy ended at 10:30 on Sunday morning when I had to take him home so that I could attend my friend Monica's daughter Caroline's baby shower.  This will be her first grandchild and no way was I missing it.  It was a blast and unlike any baby shower I have ever attended.  The whole restaurant was taken over and we were treated to the most fabulous food.  Because I ate so much, I had to rush home and lay down on my stomach again to spread the fat around.  Thank goodness it was Sunday as the calorie count is halved on Sundays - everyone knows that.  Sundays and holidays 1/2 calorie unless you are out of the country on vacation in which case there is no such thing as calories.  In fact, if you happen to be out of the country on vacation, on a Sunday which also happens to be a holiday day - well, you can eat all you want and actually lose weight.  I plan to be in Italy on Easter Sunday spending my day eating Veal Parmigana and drinking Chianti.  By the time I am done, I should be a size 2.

Because Monica seems to think it is odd that I am not comfortable being hugged by strangers, she paid her friend Teresa to mug me by hugging.  As you can tell by the picture, I am getting more comfortable with it.

Stay tuned

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Fun times for the Nannabananagramma

I was strolling Granville Street yesterday enjoying the eclectic group assembled along the boulevard.  I came across 4 Hare Krishna's banging on thier drums and mumbling something I couldn't make out.  Who knew that after all these years the hair style of choice for these folks is actually in style by some of the young people I see strolling the streets of the west end.   I stood there and wondered how I would react at seeing my children standing on street corners wearing the equivalent of an adult diaper with a shaved head save for the braided pony tail.  I came to the conclusion that as long as they didn't wear name tags I would be ok with it.  I use to be a lot more restrictive and close minded, however ever since my grandson started calling me nannabananagramma, I figured I had to lighten up a little.

Further down the street, I came across a  barbershop quartet.  They were actually pretty good and I enjoyed standing there for a few minutes.  Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a full band setting up.  Looked to be about 5 pieces - including full drum kit.  I wanted to see how this would play out.  How can the barbershop compete?  Is there a hierarchy to this sort of thing?  First come, first served?  Perhaps there would be an all out fist fight.  Turns out nothing much happened.  The quartet quickly snatched up their hat and passed it around before the band got started and moved on to another block.

A fight did break out though.  It was between the police and some guy running out of Sears.  I wasn't aware it was the police at the time.  It wasn't until I heard them telling the kid to "Stop - Police" (just like in the movies) that I realized what was happening.  A bunch of us sat down to finish our lunch and watch the show - police chase to the sound of music in the background.  They finally tackled him right by London Drugs.  To try to get away, the kid squirmed right out of his shirt as they grabbed him.  I remember thinking that it was in his best interest to keep his shirt on.  I was almosted blinded by the sight of Casper the ghost.  The kid kept yelling "I didn't do it" and the cops were asking him "then why did you run".  I loved his response " because I knew you wouldn't believe me".

The rest of my lunch hour was spent watching a woman who must have been having a very bad day as she had forgotten her underwear under her micro-mini skirt and had a dog following her - a man on his cell phone who was experiencing something unbelievable "I can't believe it.  I JUST CANNOT BELIEVE IT." and had a laugh over the two girls who bought ice cream cones only to get in that first lick and have ice cream fall from the cone onto the street.

Sadly, at the end of summer the street will be opened up to bus traffic again and it will cease to be pedestrian only.  I have been enjoying the daily shows down there that have been taking place since a month prior to the Olympics.

As you can see, between people watching and bad dates, this is my life.  I am thinking of renting a new life for a few days just to try it out.  Perhaps after I return the rental I will discover I actually am not as boring as I think I am.  We shall see.

Stay tuned - have date with special man on Friday.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Very Funny

You would think with all the people I know that someone would have just one single male friend that they would think I was worthy enough to be introduced to who wouldn't try to poison me, grope me (not on the first date anyway), shoot me or attempt to get me killed while dodging traffic.  Honestly, I am really not that picky.  Just someone nice and funny who enjoys travel, grandkids and doesn't kick dogs.  That is really all I ask.

So, let me tell you about yesterday afternoon.  I am waiting at the Starbucks on Granville sipping my tea.  As most know, I like to arrive first to avoid possible embarrassing situations asking strange men if they are waiting for me.  I was only waiting about 3 minutes when I was approached my a nice looking 50ish man asking if I was Holly.  I was pleasantly surprised (and alright, I admit, hopeful).  He asked if I minded if he just grabbed a coffee and then if we could walk around Granville street.  Since I quite enjoy strolling about town, this sounded good. 

It was going surprisingly well.  He had held out his hand upon introduction (already ahead of the game), paid for his own coffee and enjoyed walking.  We walked a couple of blocks before I noticed that he kept darting his eyes around.  I decided that since he hadn't attempted to hug me yet, I could live with darting eyes.  We walked and talked.  He asked a lot of questions about what I do for a living, children, home and such.  After about 30 minutes, he finally brought up what he does for a living.  He is a Security Guard.  Ok, I can live with that.....however, he felt compelled to explain why we had to keep walking and why we couldn't take advantage of some of the new seating along the street.  It seems being a Security Guard means people you have had to either throw out of venues or otherwise call the real Police on tend to track you down and want to kill you.  Not kidding.... he thinks people are out to kill him for being thrown out of a concert.  This is why he never sits still and always moves along crowded streets.  It now concerned me that he kept me on the outside of the sidewalk rather than the inside as my father taught me a ladie was supposed to walk.

Thankfully, we came upon a bus stop and the bus was coming.  I said I had to go home and walk my dog (will buy one this weekend), hopped on the bus and left.  I then had to get off the bus to catch my real one but only when he was out of sight.

I am thinking I need new friends of friends of friends.  I know "just because you are paranoid doesn't mean someone isn't out to get you", but COME ON!  So now I can add to my growing list - paranoia.
For those keeping track:
no drunken gun collecting
no hugging on the first meeting
no poisoning
no paranoia

I am going to spend the weekend with my granddaughters where only laughing is allowed with the occassional peeing of the bed.

Stay turned

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

what fun

I wasn't actually going to post again so soon but I can't resist sharing my Granville street lunch time with ya'll.

So, there I was minding my own business strolling down Granville in search of some lunch.  I was really hoping something would jump out at me and save me from having to make a decision.  My morning had not gone as well as one might hope and my brain not only needed some food, but also needed a break from actually having to think.  It was one of those mornings where I was lucky to have found my way into work fully clothed.

Some of you may have heard about my rather bad month with the missing brain cells - 1st - wore two different shoes to work - 2nd - wore two different earrings to work - 3rd - forgot I drove my truck to work and took the bus home leaving it in the parking lot to fend for herself  - 4th - when driving grandchildren home after a weekend of fun, didn't notice where I was until Xavier piped up and then realized I had driven to my old house in Walnut Grove - the kids live in Port Coquitlam - 20 miles back.

Anyway, as I stated, I was looking for something to give my brain energy when I heard a rather disturbing noise.  Lo and behold, right in front of me was a skinny white dude with a beard doing RAP.  That's right - RAP.  First, I thought it was illegal for white folk to rap in public and second, he was giving us all a bad name.  I understood when it was 'White Men Can't Jump", then  "White folk can't dance" and now it is most certainly "White Men With Beards SHOULD NEVER EVER RAP" in public.  It's not like he was even making up his own crap to rap about - he was rapping nursery rhymes.  I was assaulted with things that Little Bo Peep never did in any of my books.  Quite frankly, it was downright embarrassing.  To add insult to injury, in competition for our coin there was a woman dancing and singing with a tamborine.  However, she was wearing headphones so I have actually no idea what music she was singing along with. 

Between the two of them, my appetite just went away - all by itself.  Solved my problem - I didn't have to think of what I wanted for lunch anymore.

Cheers and stay tuned for my coffee date experience tomorrow

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

What a weekend

I notice that it is the beginning of August and I still have an Olympic picture up.  As soon as I can get my camera to stop acting up, I will update the photo.

Ok, so it seems I have received a couple of comments stating that I may in fact be too picky.  It seems I should have given the hugger more of an effort.  Let me tell you, if someone even remotely resembling Mr. George Clooney wants to hug me, I will be the first to tell him to take his shirt off first before running into his arms.  However, I must remain firm on my resolution to never hug less than Clooney-esque strangers.

So, again in my effort to get out there and socialize, I went to the Gay Pride parade on Sunday.  I figured what girl doesn't love a challenge?  My friend Cammie has an amazing condo located conveniently  right at the finish line.  Three single ladies sat there on her lawn having a picnic of Subway sandwiches, cookies and bottles of Coke and prepared to enjoy the view. 

I gotta tell you, I was enjoying myself and laughing at some of the adsurdity of it all when along comes a show stopper about 1 hour into the whole thing.  To prepare you, I should tell you the theme this year was world acceptance.  Walking slowly and happily up the street was an elderly gentleman carrying a globe and wearing a grin......that was it - a grin.  World acceptance of having his dangly bits out there where they could get sunburned is not something I can say I have ever contemplated.  I should mention that despite the warmth of the afternoon, I suddenly got very cold and I heard little bells clanging in my head.  I had to sit down.  I had visions of what it would be like for me if I continued in my quest to secure myself an 80 year old millionaire orphan.  Not a pretty sight anymore.  After seeing that, I think I will have to up the ante - he must be at least a billionaire to make me want to see his 80 year old dangly bits.

All in all, it was a fun afternoon.  There is something about the folks in the parade - they were a very happy group.  However, it turns out not to be a very good place to meet the opposite sex and I am too old to change teams now.  It would be way too much work and I am pretty sure I wouldn't like the club meetings.

I have agreed to a coffee meeting on Thursday with a friend of a friend of a friend.  If I get poisoned, hugged or stabbed, I will not be a happy camper and may turn on said friend.  However, I will let you know how it goes.

Cheers and stay tuned

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Starting up again

So, after being pestered to start my blog again (ok, so maybe two people does not a pester make, but those two people were really annoying), I have decided to pick it up and write again.  This time, since the Olympics are over and I think my chances of being asked to volunteer for the Russian games are slim to none, I figure I will tell you all about my other adventures.

Ok, so I have tipped my toe into the dating pool again.  I have a real need to be very careful.  I have only had three serious relationships in my life and I married two of them.  Times however, have changed.  It seems in order to date these days you must be tech savy and own a computer.  I am now on a dating website.  Wish this had been around 30 years ago I might have fared better.  My children think it is time for me to date.  Personally, I think they are just afraid they will be stuck with me in my old age.

So, to bring everyone up to speed, I will tell you about my first three dates. 

First Date -  I will call him - Blew it in the first 15 seconds man - sounded promising.  Both in emails and in telephone conversation he sounded like he had possibilities and very much like me - wandering around wondering when the rules all changed.  We decided to meet at Van Dusen gardens.  A really lovely place and I was quite looking forward to a stroll.  I arrived early so he could seek me out rather than me wandering around asking strange men if they were waiting for me.  I was sitting on a bench in the shade when a friendly looking man of 55 walked towards me and called my name.  I stood and offered my hand........he grabbed me in a bear hug and hung on.  While I like to think I am a very affectionate person - with family and the occassional friend - I do NOT like nor do I expect complete strangers to hug me.  He was done.

Second Date - We can call him - Disguised as normal man - I agreed to meet him after work in the Starbucks that is on Broadway located inside the Safeway store.  I figured if it didn't go well, I can just pick up dinner and hop on the train home.  Well, we sat outside drinking tea and coffee for about 90 minutes.  He was very nice and pleasant to look at.  He asked if he could buy me dinner.  Since he hadn't tried to hug me, I was game.  He said he had the perfect spot.  Turns out it was in the middle of China town in a run down shop on a run down street.  As we pulled up (in his perfectly restored Jaguar), a drunk puked on the sidewalk and the paddy wagon showed up to haul off 4 guys fighting on the corner.  I love street theatre.  We picked our way through the mess to the little shop where he was greated by name.  He ordered for both of us (circa 1950).  We had won ton soup and dried pork bites.  The first won ton I ate seemed a little off.  The second was downright pink and mushy.  I broke out into a sweat.  After 30 minutes of conversation where he finally admitted he was a debt collector for Canadian Tire and joyously took pleasure in following people around and didn't believe in taking holidays (he doesn't get paid).  I had had about enough and wanted to go home.  He laughed and said that he promised he would only stalk me until I said yes to a proposal.  I really really wanted to go home.  I was also queasy.  Suffice to say, 30 minutes after returning home, I was violently ill.  I had food poisoning and spent the night in the bathroom.  He called me the next day to tell me the stalking had begun (ha ha ha).  I told him about the poisoning and said if I saw him again, it would be because I had him in the sites of my crossbow.

Date 3 - We call him - Are your freakin kidding me? man -  So we meet on Granville Island at Beaches.  I am thinking perhaps we will have lunch.  I ended up making an excuse about having to take my child to Costco (my child is 30 and can take herself to Costco) and got the heck outta there.  Suffice to say I was on a date with a drunken, alcoholic, gun collector.   But "don't worry Holly, I only have 7 long barrells".  Aww, so sweet to think of me.  He also has both of his daughters living in condo's down the hall from him because he cannot function without females in his life.  He promised to teach me how to shoot (he wasn't that bright) in exchange for laundry, cooking and taking his girls shopping. 

So, this is how it started.  I have had plenty of offers from the 20-25 year old crowd who want a Mrs. Robinson but I am not into teaching.  I am also beginning to think I have some sort of genetic freak magnate code that brings them out of the woodwork.

This weekend a bunch of us are going to the gay pride parade.  If I didn't think it was too much work and would have to learn a new rule book, I might think they are on to something. 

I will keep you posted

Monday, March 1, 2010

Oops - I forgot to add

Sorry, here is the article I promised as written in the Pravda News.  The bit referring to my part in the internatonal incident is the 2nd paragraph.  As stated previously, it wasn't my fault.  I hear from Vanoc that my likeness appeared on Soviet television when the incident happened.  I guess my chance to volunteer for the Russian games is now just a pipe dream.  Russia seems a little bitter to me



BREAKING NEWS

Vancouver 2010 Games Have Bitter Ending for Russia


We all knew it weeks before the game started, with accusations about doping being levelled at Russian athletes, and we all saw it on day one of the games, with the death of a Georgian athlete on a corner which miraculously was elevated the following day. Vancouver is not fit to hold the Winter Olympics.


We already have the case of a Russian skier being hounded to produce a urine sample after qualifying for a race, and if she had given the sample, she would not have had the possibility of entering the following round. Natalya Korosteleva was asked to provide a urine sample during a half-hour pause between the quarter-finals and semi-finals of a skiing event. “This seems against all the rules,” she stated, as she refused to have the sample taken, alleging that if she did, she would not have had time to continue in the next phase. Why her?

We all know Canada has problems with the future lines drawn on Arctic maps and we all know Canada lives in the shadow of its larger neighbour to the south. The abject cruelty shown by Canadian soldiers in international conflicts is scantily referred to, as indeed is the utter incapacity of this county to host a major international event, due to its inferiority complex, born of a trauma being the skinny and weakling bro to a beefy United States and a colonial outpost to the United Kingdom, whose Queen smiles happily from Canadian postage stamps.

Maybe it is this which makes the Canadians so…retentive, or cowardly. So it is not exactly a huge surprise to have international skating experts from the four corners of the Earth criticising the decision to award the Men’s figure skating Gold medal to the US athlete Evan Lysacekv over the reigning Olympic Champion Evgeny Plushenko, whose superior performance was inexplicably ignored.

As Plushenko explains, “I did a great short program but did not get the marks I deserved. When I asked why, they told me I was skating early and they had to retain top marks for the last group…Then in the free program, I was the last to skate, did everything clean and still didn’t get the marks”.

Everybody who knows anything about Olympic skating, Winter Olympic sports and international politics will infer from the pitiful and dangerous conditions provided by the Canadian authorities, which already caused one death, that Vancouver is mutton dressed as lamb. Take off the outer veneer and the stench is horrific.

It is a surprise that any Russian athlete would wish to remain in that sort of environment for a second longer

A Little Sad

So it is all over and done with.  Walking into the office today I felt a little pang of sadness as I watched them taking down the art work on Granville street and dismantling the signs.

I think it is akin to first locating the man and then spending 2 years planning the perfect wedding only to discover within minutes of it all being over, you married an idiot.  A bit of a let down to say the least.

I think I have Olympic hangover.  I was looking out my window and noticed the city sure cleared out in a hurry.  Only London Drugs seems to be just as busy.  That may be because they have all the souviners on sale half price and people were going nutso. 

I feel a little sorry for the Para-Olympians.  There is not much left.  Too bad they didn't have them compete just before the rest.  There would have been more spectators and certainly many more venues to attract the crowds.

Well, since it is all done now and since we are all friends and family, I can admit my extra part in the games to help ensure the success of our team.  A lot of men grew beards to assist, some didn't change thier socks for 2 weeks.  I decided I didn't like the idea of wearing the same socks so I decided to go the hair route.  For 17 days I didn't shave my legs.  It was all worth it when we won gold on Sunday.  This morning as I hopped into the shower, I realized that my part was well and truly over and so I grabbed my razor and bent to weed whack my legs.  After changing the blades twice I finally finished the job with minimal use of band-aids.  You can all thank me for the wins when I see you.

My final photo is of the Athlete's village which is now almost empty and the flags removed.  Again, I am sad it is over but glad it went off so well.  Vancouver did a great job and showed our best face to the world.  I have had fun posting these little tidbits of my adventure and hope you have as well.  This is my final posting but perhaps I will share some more of my adventures in the coming months.

Take care and thanks for reading

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Indescribable Proud Canadian

Last day of the games

And what a day it was.  The air traffic controllers must be working overtime.  The sky is filled with planes and helicopters.  They have been circling all day.  Road traffic control must have a migraine.  Bridges are closed for the closing ceremonies and buses line the Cambie bridge from downtown back to 12th Ave bringing in performers, athletes and the prominent.  As of 8:30 they are still there.

I spent the day on Robson Square watching the final gold medal game with about 100,000 other people.  What a game - a real nail biter.  As Canada won the gold, strangers hugged and kissed (and the occassional grope).  I hopped on the train to the next stop as it was easier than trying to move.  I wanted to get to Live City Yale Town for the celebration.  I was hugged and kissed and yes, groped (not sure though if I was the goper or the gropee) along the way.  The very packed train burst into spontaneous song.  Oh Canada was sung loud, proud and slightly off key. 

It was amazing to see groups of happy, proud Canadians.  Cars were honking horns and waving flags.  A bus driver held his hand out the window holding the flag and honking his horn.  I am not sure I have the words to descrbe the feelings of pride and patriotism that has been shown.  Not just today but throughout the 17 days.  I have always been proud to be Canadian and this experience has led to a swelling chest, damp cheeks and a bubbly feeling in my belly.

Speaking of belly's, I thought that since I must have walked at least 25 miles during these past 17 days I surely must have lost some weight.  My jeans were a little loser and I could have sworn I had to tighten my belt a notch.  However, it seems that washing those same jeans made them fit again.  I guess I can say now, the food provided to the volunteers was nothng to write home about.  In talking to other volunteers, they all had the same complaints.  Lunch always consisted of a sandwich, soup, apple/orange and a granola bar.  One fella said he grabbed a sandwich that had an expired date n it.  I spoke to a volunteer from Nova Scotia who stated that he had never had such bad food in all of his experiences volunteering at sporting events.  Aside from the bad food, I was too busy between work and the games to remember to go grocery shopping.  At one point I had the grandkids Corn Pops and that was about it.

As I left downtown just minutes before the closing ceremonies ended to avoid the crush of the train, I passed by a playground.  It was all lit up and a group of young kids were playing hockey.  As I passed by there was an argument between a couple of the players over who the other side would be.  As a youngster pointed out - they couldn't all be the Canadian team.  Wonder how that played out.

I will head into work tomorrow and perhaps be surprised at the city.  It may only last a short time however as the Para-Olympics start in about 10 days and a number of the venues will remain open.  I expect to see some of the party to continue but am not sure how big it will be.

A friend has found the article written about me in the Pravda Newspaper.  I hope to have it tomorrow for my final posting so stay tuned.

this has been fun.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Final Weekend

Day 16 of the games

We are almost at the end.  One last party night of concerts and fireworks.  It is expected that Sunday will have more people downtown than any other day yet.  Not sure if I want to go out in the crush tomorrow.

Friday was a great day.  After a day of giving directions, smiling, taking pictures of tourists one last time, I met up with my daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren.  We wandered the marketplace and around Concord place where the kids played ball in the "active kids" tent.  We watched some of the men's hockey game on a couple of the giant screens around town.  The city was alive with excitement.  After the kids went home I watched the rest of the game with some happy strangers on the street.  After Canada squeeked out a narrow win, the group burst into song.  It was also announced that Canada had also just won 2 more gold medals in speed skating.  The group then started to sing our national anthem. 

As I sung with all my heart, I noticed the man standing next to me staring and smiling.  Must be a record producer I thought.  I am often surprised when I am not pulled over by multiple record producers as I sing in my car.  However, as the song ended instead of handing me his business card wrapped in a contract, he bent down to me and smiling stated "I bet you have to sing Happy Birthday in a group as well".  I wasn't exactly sure what he meant but I took it to mean that people often want me to sing with them.  I have decided it was a very nice compliment.

As I made my way along the waterfront around 11pm, there were so many people in the crowd enjoying Canada'a achievements of the day, the ending of the games and just being caught up in the moment.  It didn't matter that it was raining and windy.  We are counting down the hours now until the end however, we will only have 12 days to rest before the Paralimpics begin.  A lot of the venues will close however, a number will remain open including Robson Square skating rink and the zip line.  I am hopeful that I will get to zip before it all closes.

I am now done my Olympic volunteering but not my Olympic experience.  I am off to enjoy the final two days.  I will post again tomorrow night when it is all finished.

Stay tuned

Thursday, February 25, 2010

A Very Blonde Day

Day 14 of the games

I spent the day at Live City, home of Canada House and Manitoba House and wandering the streets.  I was supposed to end up at the media centre.  Something went wrong.  Not sure it was really my fault.  However, my brother may be correct in that I tend to not watch where I am going and sort of day dream as I walk.

So, after a morning of pointing people in the right direction I was making my way through Granville street down to the media centre and the Olympic flame.  I am not sure how it all came about.  I was stopped at the corner of Pender and Granville by a group looking to get to Granville Island.  I spent about 15 minutes with them.  We had a few language barriers.  I thought that odd as they were Canadian but since they came into the city from Surrey, I cut them some slack. (Surrey folks always get a bum rap).  Before turning to continue on my way,  a crowd of people who had just gotten out of the Canadian Mint all seemed to converge upon me at once.  For these folks, I offered to walk them down to the waterfront to make sure they got there ok.

 I turned and before I could even think about it, I was down - in the midst of the crowd.  I took one of them with me.  I had no idea they did some road work down there and put in a new curb.  They should paint them red or something.  Perhaps they should even have them beeping like they do at some cross walks.  Suffice to say, the guy I took down with me stepped on the open part near my toes of my walking cast.  I also tore a hole in my pants. 

After I managed to laugh off one of the more embarrassing moments of my life and valiently tried to explain to the crowd that I was in fact part of the street entertainment and I would be falling again at 3pm on a different curb, I hobbled to a coffee shop and order a tequila straight up.  The guy behind the counter said he would love to offer me one as I looked like I was having a rough day, however the best he could offer was rum flavored coffee.  He did invite me back later for a private tequila.  However, since he was 12 years old, I passed on the offer.

I called it quits for the day figuring that since I have one more day of this before my gig is up, I might want to save the final killing of my body for tomorrow.  On the bus ride home, I met a young family from Seattle who were here for the games.  They had a small son of about 5 or 6 who asked about my cast.  I am still tired of telling the truth about it so I explained I did it snow boarding.  In his very wise voice he explained that I should be more careful.  If he only knew.

As I write, the Candian Women`s Hockey team just won gold against the USA.  The bells, horns and cannon just went off and the rings in the harbour are now gold.  If you see the arena on TV, it is a sea of red.  Nice.

Today`s picture is of the real RCMP in their beautiful red serge uniforms at Canada house.  Nothing could be more Canadian.

Well, early night tonight as I get set for my final day.

Stay tuned