Monday, November 29, 2010

Ladies and Gentlemen - we have a winner!

After attempting to jump back into the dating fishing pond, I do believe I have landed a whopper. 

So, I met Mr. #11 for coffee on Saturday and ordered my usual tea while looking at the clock ready to time my retreat.  He appears normal - no second head or hump on his back (I can tell because his jacket hangs correctly).  He speaks english and appears to comprehend what I am saying.  I am enjoying the conversation and thinking I can stop looking at the clock when it happened.

After returning from the mens room, "Tom" sits back down with a grin from ear to ear.  I should have been more on the ball when he began sniffing a lot and rubbing his nose.  His voice got a little louder and he seemed to be a little antsy.  He then started to tell me how much he liked my smile and how I seemed "smart' (oy vey - where's my bus?).  He wants to know if he can see me again because he thinks that I am the smartest person he may know (not possible -since I was still sitting there).  You ready for the winning line?  " Are your parents retarded?  Because you sure are special!"

Holy crap!  How do you respond to that?  All I could come up with was "which hospital do you want me to call for you?"  I guess the line of coke he did in the bathroom gave him the courage to be stupid in public.

I feel like I am in the middle of a grand joke.  Someone is setting me up and planting these yokels on line for me.  I am most certainly a freak magnate.  A recap is in order:

1) the hugger
2) the poisoner
3) the alcholic gun collector
4) the "don't feel obligated to put out" guy
5) the paranoid 'spy' guy
6) the good conversationalist (with a wee drinking issue it turns out)
7) the retarded guy

I think I have been a pretty good sport.  I will continue only because, like the freeway accident we all have to stop and look at, such is my life.  I think I am also a bit of a voyeur - my curiosity is such that I really want to see what will happen next.  I can't leave mid-way through the show.

No dates this week as I am planning on Christmas shopping, baking and decorating.  This coming weekend I have the grandkids for our annual decoration, wrapping and Santa parade time.  I think they are the best dates to have.  No judging.

Anyway, will keep you posted.


Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Girl's Luncheon

My holiday's have started off slow and easy.  I have enjoyed a lay-in and afternoon naps.  I started my book and finished 3 cross-word puzzles.  I have cleaned the bathroom, made a chicken stew (from scratch), cleaned my bedroom, done laundry, dusted and washed the floors.  Boy am I a fun gal or what!   Not sure what to do with the next 10 days of vacation but am thinking I might go so far as to actually shave my legs too.  However, given that it is -5 degrees outside, perhaps I need the hair to help keep me warm.

On Monday I hopped on the bus and went downtown (only spent a few minutes in the office) to check out something at Sears. While waiting for my return bus, I was approached by a camera wielding reporter from the CBC.  They wanted to know my opinion on the woman who has announced her intention to go after Gordon Campbell's position as our new Premier.  I admitted I had never heard of this woman and had no idea who they wre talking about.  We enjoyed a good laugh.  We finished just as my bus pulled up.  I was feeling pretty proud of myself for my witty reparte' when I caught a glimpse of myself in the bus window.  Holy Crap!  I was going to appear on TVlooking like Nanook of the North.  I was clad in heavy black coat, scarf, mitts, boots and a fuzzy touque.  The only comfort I can take from looking like this is that other than a couple of whisps of blonde hair sticking out of my hat, I am pretty sure no one would recognize me - I hope.

The eve of my birthday found me having lunch with "the Girls".  It got me to thinking - at which point do your dear old friends stop being 'girls'?  We are a group that have been friends for over 20 years now and while we may not see each other as often as we would like, it is an easy friendship that can stand the test of time.  We may have moved on in different directions - having seen one another through marriages, divorces, death, children's issue and as we get older - the surgeries our bodies require just to keep us going, but the friendship is more valuable to me today than ever.
 We have had many lunches over the years where we catch up, laugh and tell outrageous stories.  While we still do that, something has changed as we have gotten older.  In fact, it was pointed out during our salad course that somehow our discussion had moved from that of  men, sex and children to hot flashes, bladder control,  who is on new meds and who can no longer enjoy a drink at lunch without the need to go straight home for a nap.  In spite of all this, I still consider us "the Girls".  Odd how our bodies and faces change but we are still just 'the girls" and I imagine this will never change - at least I hope not.

Tomorrow I am off to ambush my oldest child and her family.  Not wanting to spend my birthday alone (I hadn't heard any other offers), I called my child and invited myself over to her home.  I will arrive with cake and dinner in hand and force them to sing to me.  Should be fun.

As for my dating life - oy vey!  Not really sure what to make of it.  I have now had three dates with the same man.  While the first two coffee dates were fine and I enjoyed the conversation, I think dinner might have been a mistake.  I don't do too well with men who drink enough to get to the point of turning into goofs.  I think that if I had been one of his male friends it would have gotten to the point of the "I love you man" speech.  In short, I became very uncomfortable with his level of affection.  I might agree to another coffee date but anything after dark now that would encourage dim lights and a bottle of wine is now off the table.

Anyway, I have agreed to a coffee meet with someone new on Saturday.  I will keep you posted.