Friday, September 10, 2010

Duelling Skinny White Boy Rappers

What a week!  Granville street has gone back to traffic travelling on the 2-3 blocks between Robson and Dunsmuir after about 5 years of closure.  Now my bus gets off right outside my door.  While it is nice for me, I miss the wandering foot traffic and weekday shows that used to pop up each day.

However, I was treated to a couple of interesting things this week on Granville.  The first was the duelling skinny white boy rappers.  One was set up just in front of The Bay and the other was about 100 feet away by the entrance to the Canada Line.  Frankly, I was embarrassed on thier behalf.  It was plain embarrassing to see/hear and watch.  Tough to pull off black rap when you have a scruffy beard and are wearing cordoroys.  Not to mention, they were both just plain bad.

Later on in the week we were regaled by two separate Bon Jovi enthusiasts.  Can't get whiter than that.  They were not that bad.  However, it lost a little something with the streetcars and buses rolling up and down the street momentarily drowning them out.  There was a bit of excitment as one set up right beside a fella who had set up shop to sell his wood carvings.  However, he had quite a scam going.  At one point the wood carver asked him to please "shut the hell up" and quit singing in his ear.  The guitarist offered to move for $20.  The carver paid it and the singer moved down the street.  I am thinking I should just walk up to folks and start singing and when they ask me to leave them alone, I will offer to do so for $20.  I could make a killing since I have been told not only that I cannot sing but that I am also downright annoying at times (see brother for confirm).

Twice during the week, while awaiting my bus home, I watched individuals intent on playing 'chicken' with the buses.  They just step right off the curb and into the line of an oncoming bus.  For one fella, the horn of the bus blasts and he stops dead in his track with that 'dear in the headlights' look.  The bus honks again and he is still standing there.  Finally, someone else steps into the street and pulls him to the sidewalk.  I am thinking this man is obviously brain dead as he then proceeds to swear (at length and at top volume) at the bus.  He is under the misconception this is still a pedestrian walk-way.  He demands that witnesses come forward and agree to give him the number to the bus company so he can launch a lawsuit since he was almost killed.  Since he lived, it seems he suffered traumatic side effects.  I offered to push him back into the street so that he might be killed and then he would have a better chance at winning that lawsuit.  I thought it was funny.  Seems I am the only person on Granville with a sense of humour.

I am quite excited.  I finally had the opportunity to get my eyes checked and order my new glasses.  The Bay happens to have a 50% off sale for a full set of specs.  In 3 weeks, I will be the proud owner of my very first designer glasses - Marc Jacobs thank you very much.  I have put in a special request to have the name brand enhanced on the arm piece but it seems they think that is tacky.  I think it is along the lines of when you lose a bunch of weight and you purchase a dress in one of the single digit sizes, you want to wear the tag on the outside.  There was no need for the Optician to look at me that way.

So, today, my friend Heather came to my office to take a few pictures of me so that I can go back online and back to dating.  I got home and discovered a problem - she sent them all via some other non-compatible system and I cannot use them.  Part of me is thrilled - I looked all old and wrinkly - and I thought I wouldn't have to sign up again and the other part of me was depressed - OMG - I looked all old and wrinkly.  I am thinking that perhaps I should wait until the face lift before doing this again.

I have an appointment next week with a plastic surgeon who does layaway.  If I pay for 2/3 of the procedure then they will proceed and I can pay for the rest afterward.  I am thinking along the lines of a mini-face lift.  Nothing so drastic that I walk around looking permanently surprised but enough so the old and wrinkly will be gone.  Bonus if I can actually look younger than my oldest child.  I will keep you posted on how the appointment turns out.

Have a great weekend and stay tuned


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