Saturday, May 19, 2012

I dreamt of Thor

I was atop the white washed cliffs of Greece looking resplendent in my flowing Grecian gown with gold embellishments and my long blonde hair flowing (my dream, I was gorgeous - 5'10", and skinny) in the light breeze gazing upon the most splendid of beings approaching me.  I was throwing caution to the wind and throwing out my rule of robbing the cradle as I watched this splendid specimen approach with his bulging muscles, long blonde hair, blue eyes and shirtless chest.  Wait, it really didn't matter anyway since Thor himself is actually thousands of years old even if he looked 25.  Guilt free, I stretched my arms out ready for the ecstasy that was to be mine.  Out of the corner of my eye I see a flash of light and was awestruck to see Iron Man swoop down upon our lonely cliff.  As a fight broke out over the love that was to be mine, I could not help but feel a giddiness that I hoped would never fade.

You may have realized that I went and saw the new Avengers movie yesterday.  Holy crap on a cracker, but these men were yummy.  I spent most of the movie just trying to figure out who I wanted first.  Never did quite make up my mind.  I decided to take them first alphabetically then in date order.  Of course, Robert Downey Jr. came first (not in date order and then alphabetically - last name first) as Iron Man.  Oh what a night we had.  I would say that Thor brought up the rear but that sounds dirty.  Lets just say, he was dessert.

I awoke to a tangle of sheets and two of my three pillows on the floor - one over across the room by the TV.  Made me wonder what else I was doing in my sleep.

I am thinking that since absolutely no one could live up to the impossibility of the Avengers, I cannot possibly go back online and not be disappointed.

By the way, the movie was pretty good too.  You need to see it in 3D.  I was so twitchy in my seat bobbing and weaving as I tried to escape the aliens, that I am afraid I made my friend Heather a little jumpy as well.

Prior to the movie yesterday, I had the three wee grandkids on Thursday afternoon.  I picked them up for dinner in the park and then took everyone to Xavier's lacross game in Delta.  As we went to Timmy's to pick up sandwiches, TimBits and chocolate milk, I was informed by Rae that I was not allowed to buy hamburgers as "the parents" would not like this.  "The parents" seem to be a rough bunch.  Anyway, we played at the park for awhile before heading off to the wrong arena for the game.  After about 20 minutes of being lost, we finally made our way to the right place and Xavier headed off to the dressing room where I was not allowed - "please don't come in Nanna - I can do this by myself but you can tie my shoes when I come out."  What a dichotomy - big enough to dress himself in enough gear so he can beat up a bus and not get hurt, but not big enough to tie his shoes tight enough so he doesn't trip.

After a rather fun game, I made my way home where I promptly fell asleep on the couch.  It was 9pm.  What a glamorous life I lead.  I rarely make it through the news any more and refuse to see a movie after 6pm as I will get home too late.  Oy Vey!  I need some real excitement to perk me up - any ideas? 

Stay tuned

Friday, May 11, 2012

If you happened to pick.....

If you happened to pick Edmonton as the place where my luggage would end up during my 5 day, 4 province, 9 meeting whirlwind of a trip, go out and buy yourself a lottery ticket because you are the lucky winner of "guess where Holly's luggage goes".

This trip was considered mildly successful - none of my teeth fell out and I only broke 2 nails.  My luggage only made one side trip.  When I landed in Regina and discovered my luggage was not there, I didn't even get upset.  I was secretly hoping my bag ended up in Bermuda and I would be forced to retrieve it in person.  However, as I settled into my room at The Delta hotel, I was a little disappointed when a knock at my door found me staring at an Air Canada employee holding my suitcase which never made it out of Edmonton.  That was a little dissappointing.

Only a couple of other issues popped up during the next few days as I hopped in and out of taxi's, ate on the run and listened to people complain.  I ran out of clothes by Thursday morning.  Turns out eating on the run leads to spillage.  I had no more tops without stains. Add to that, the only 'summerlike' top I had ended up with ketchup on it as I got dressed while eating breakfast in my room standing up.  It was going to be 27 degrees in Winnipeg.  I had an idea.  I had packed a black skirt and black blazer.  If I turned my white tank top backwards under the jacket, no one would see the stain.  The next problem came when I put the skirt on.  It was black - I had no pantyhose - I was standing looking in the mirror at a woman whose legs were as white as the q-tip I was holding.  That was quite a sight to behold.  I looked like an icecream sandwich - black and white.  This would not work.  How could I inspire a sense of dignity and respect when I looked like that.  The only thing I could do was put on the only slacks still in good shape - they were wool.  I found a pink blouse with only one small stain and I could wear a necklace to cover it.

Do you know what wool pants are like in 27 degree heat?  I have a nicely developed rash.

I would like to say my week ended with a giant bright spot but I have been left with a deep concern over my certain onset of senility.    I am worried about my eyesite and memory.

Let me paint the picture for you:

Thursday night, I slip on my sweatpants and my Vancouver Canucks t-shirt after a swim in the hotel pool.  I decide to go for a walk.  The elevator arrives and I step on.  Inside a tall skinny older man is waiting for me to enter.  He makes a comment about the Canucks and how it is too bad they are out.  He is impressed how  fervent Vancouverites are about their hockey and makes a comment about last years riot.  He likes Vancouver.  He was there earlier in the week. 

The evelvator doors open and I am assaulted by screaming.  I am a little discombobulated.  I look out the lobby window and a whole bunch of people are outside screaming and jumping around.  The man from the elevator disappears into the crowd.  I go off to the side and the Porter who has been helping me the last couple of day's is standing there.  I ask him what's going on.  He tells me that Van Halen is playing Winnipeg that night.  Yeah so?  So that was them! 

HUH????  It seems, according to the porter, I just rode down in the elevator with David Lee Roth and I had no idea.  I did not recognize the man. 

I am worried.  What happens if I end up in the same elevator as George Clooney and I don't even recognize him?  My life will be over.  If I can't recognize George what's the point of living?  What if the only people I can recognize now are cartoon characters like the Simpsons?

The weekend before I left I got to spend it with my favorite wee man - Xavier.  He had been promised a new Lego set for having his appendix out.  Off we went to Toys R Us to pick something out.  It was so much fun to watch his head almost spin right off his little shoulders.  He had a set price to work with and some hard decisions to make.  Watching him try to make up his mind how to spend his money and pick out the best Lego set was interesting as he tried to negotiate what he could really get.  He could get three figurines and one set or 2 smaller sets.  I could see him brain humming.  After almost 2 hours he finally settled on 2 smaller sets for the same price. 

We then spent the rest of the day, night and most of the next day trying to put them together.  The boxes said you have to be 8yrs old to buy these.  Good thing because if you are much older, you will never figure it out.  He worked steady and studiously.  I had a headache.  Basically, my role was to search for pieces while he put it all together.  We had a great time.

Well, after one day in the office next week, I am taking the rest of the time off for holiday.  Hopefully, something exciting will happen.  I am really looking forward to it.

Stay tuned - I am getting a hair cut and having my picture taken so I can go back online and find my prince charming.