Friday, October 1, 2010

Been away for a bit

It has been a busy couple of weeks since I last checked in.  I have been in a severe depression lately.  When I last went to purchase my book of one zone bus passes, the kid at 7-11 thought he would pass along the following information:  " Were you aware that you can be eligible for a reduced fare?  If you are of a 'certain' age, you get bus passes at a reduced rate.  Instead of $21 for the book, you can get it for $18."  I asked the obviously mentally challenged employee " how old do you think I am?"  He said he just assumed that since one of the kids called me gramma, I must be old enough for the discount.

I then spent the next two weeks seriously trying to raise a defense for for the obvious manslaughter charge I was going to face.  I went to my family doctor to start building the depression defence.  Unfortunately, all he advised was a manicure and a haircut.  He is a funny guy.  Might be next on my list.

I finally came out of my depression when someone mistook me for my grandkids mother rather than grandmother. 

After my depression ended I put my energies back into the dating world.  I feel like I am shopping in the shallow gene pool.  Thank goodness there is always a return policy.   Some of the contacts I have had make me feel like I am on Candid Camera or something.  Surely this is just one collosal joke.  I have had propsitions from 19 year olds who want a Mrs. Robinson who assure me that 'age is just a number and it doesn't mean anything',  Well of course not to him.  To me, his age reminds me to buy new underwear.  I am sure some of mine are about the same age.  I have also been contacted by what I can only assume is an espaped convict.   My personal favorite however is the fella who said he wanted to go for coffee and discuss the current political atmosphere.  He wants to discuss my joining a new political party - social communisim.  ?????  When I stated that while I loved a great debate on the politics of our time, I had no desire to join a political party.  Well it seems this set the man off and he informed me that it was people like me that are driving our province into the ground and he sincerely hoped that I never came to him for help when the whole thing blows up in my face.  Nice.  Who let these people out?

Despite the above, I am still trying.  I have discovered though that it is tough to match up with the lesser species (not you Dad).  We really are from 2 different planets.  Mine is earth.  However, I am making another attempt.  I am going for coffee on Sunday.  This guy seems ok and so far, while he looks like an escaped convict, he sounds like a college proffessor. 

To get ready for this meeting of the minds, I have a new haircut and manicure.  I bought new glasses (so I can see what he really looks like) and of course, the 19 year old reminded me to buy new undies.  I am set.  We will meet in the middle of Granville Island.  I will have my rape whistle ready just in case.  

Granville street has been wild of late.  Due to the really nice weather, everyone is out in full force.  Today brought the duelling bands with the crazy lady and her tamborine in between.  Gave me enough of a headache that I could no longer wait for my bus.  I decided to take the train home instead.  The train happened to hold an eclectic mix today.  I had someone pull my ear piece from my ear (and still yell at me) and ask me if my briefcase was mine.  What???  Really?  I am holding it and he wants to know if it is mine?  Instead I smiled sweetly and said no.  I recieved a response that was totally unexpected.  He just looked at me and said "I thought so".  I find making friends on the train pretty easy.

I will keep you posted.


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