Sunday, October 17, 2010

Where to start

Well, it has been a bit of a wild few days since my last post.  Everything from introducing a guest speaker as having 15 years of Sperm (instead of the more acceptable 15 years with the same firm) to running headlong into a totem pole to having yet another dating experience.

I must tell you, I was invited to a really lovely event at the Museum of Anthropology at UBC and I was having a really good time.  However, I was somewhat taken aback by the sight of a woman in a rather unique dress take a turn on the dance floor where I was offered a rather startling view of her right boob.  In my startled state, I stumbled a bit backwards, turned and slammed right into a totem pole in the middle of the room.  Not sure how that really happened since there was plenty of open space for me to move in and yet, I ran headlong into the nearest 20 foot totem pole.  As I fell back a couple of steps rubbing my forehead, the security guard came running up.  Mistakenly, I thought he was going to offer some first aid, instead he told me not to touch the display.  If I felt the need to touch something, I could wander over to the canoe on the other side of the room and touch it to my hearts content.  I blame the whole thing on my shoes.  I had been on my feet since 7:30 in the morning - in heels.  Those who know me know I do not function well in heels.  I have flat feet, have broken every single toe I own and well, let's face it, I am a tad clumsy. 

The day started with me hosting our annual compliance seminar.  As you know, hosting and MCing an event means introducing the guest speakers.  All was going well until my 1:00pm speaker and as stated at the top, my reading of his bio was going well until...... the sperm incident.  This too is blamed on my heels.

I had only one day to recover from this day of comedy errors before my next date. 

I have to admit that I was surprised that I even agreed to go on this thing.  He is not someone I would normally be attracted to at all.  However, he won me over when he knew the difference between Hemmingway and Steinbeck.  He had me agreeing to meet for coffee at noon today downtown.  I was expecting to be home by 1pm to do laundry and clean up the giant red wine spill in my living room (a whole other incident involving shopping, alcohol and food).  Imagine my surprise when I didn't head for home until after 5pm.  This is about 4 hours longer than I normally allow for these kinds of dates.

He didn't try to poison me, hug me, offer to buy me drugs, try to loose me in Costco or ask me to "put out",  It was a nice change.  We spent the day wandering around the city just talking and then went for a drink and calamari and talked some more.  I was just thrilled to have someone who could not only conjugate a verb but also had some interesting things to say and some strong opinions.  Then, just when I thought I might actually like to have him as a friend.......he might have actually blown it (not sure yet though).  Turns out, during a rather lively political discussion (I know - not normally a good date topic) it turns out he is a staunch Conservative - CAPITAL C.  He hates Rick Mercer (how can you hate Rick Mercer?), Obama, unions (ok - I can give him that one) the United Nations, big business and the CBC - oh boy does he ever hate the CBC.

Up until that particular discussion, he had won major points a couple of times along the walk.  He automatically moved to the outside of the sidewalk for me to walk in the inside.  My father taught me this is the correct thing for a gentleman to always do (and for goodness sakes Holly, quit fighting and just let a guy do it - along with hold the door and your chair).  I have now come to not only accept it but expect it.  I have been known to look like a bit of a fool standing in front of a closed door for 5 minutes waiting for my date to open it while he is looking at me like I have missed my afternoon medication.

Anyway, all in all, I did enjoy the afternoon.  Not sure I can actually get over the conservative bit though.  I  may be a bit more of a free range radical myself.  Can a capital C conservative and a materialistic, capitalistic, free thinking, radical go on a second date?   Frankly I have no idea - I have never had a second date.

I am going to have to spend some more time thinking about this one.  I will keep you posted.

By the way.... did I mention he is short?  I don't generally like short men.  He is only 5'7".  Ok, so I am only 5'3" but I prefer a man who is big enough to step in front and stop a bullet for me or at the very least, reach the turkey roaster on the top cupboard.

Stay tuned

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