Friday, October 7, 2011

Where does the time go?

Holy smokes!  It feels like we just had New Years and here we are at Thanksgiving again.  Time has been flying at rates never before seen.  Perhaps you recall your younger years when on the eve of your 12th birthday you were so excited because in just one more year you would become a teenager (and your parents would finally let you stay out after dark).  However, that year seemed to take 3 years to get there.  Then you were a teenager and in just 3 years you would be able to drive.  My God!  Those three years until your 16th birthday took the equivalent of 5.  Time was dragging by so slowly.  Then, you were finally 16 and had some real freedoms.  You could not wait until your 19th birthday when you would be an adult and could get into any bar in the country that you wanted.  Those next three years were the longest ever!  It felt like it took 8 years before you went from 16 to 19.  Now, all you were waiting for was your 21st birthday and you would be legal all over the world - gambling in Vegas was big on my hit parade of "things to do".  How those last two years dragged.  It seemed forever before I turned 21. 

Something happened after that however.  There is something in the cosmic realm that then speeds the world up.  I went from 21 to .........well, not 21.   At 21 plus 1 day someone stepped on the gas and time since then has just picked up speed.  I am pretty sure their foot is stuck on the accelerator.  The years are beginning to pass in something of a blur.  Each decade has gone faster than the last. 

What I can't quite figure out though is how come I barely recall any of it.  I do not recall getting old.  However, my face tells a different story.  I look in the mirror and I see someone else completely.  I still feel like the 21 year old I know I used to be but I seem to have been invaded by body snatchers and they left behind this old woman with gravity issues.  Gravity is no longer my friend.  In fact, I now have to wake up 10 minutes early just to ensure I have enough time to roll my boobs up and put them back where they are supposed to go - in front and up - not on my back and armpits.  I remember sitting in front of the bathroom mirror one day when I was about 13 years old and trying to envision what I would look like when I finally grew up.  All I could come up with was the same me, only taller.  Turns out taller didn't come into play at all.  To this day, I can still fit inside a high school locker.

Did you know you have to make a conscious decision as you age, as a female, on how to sleep if you happen to be sleeping with a partner?  I mean, think about it.  If you are on top then your boobs hang in the right place - in front.  However, your face also falls forward as all the air gets let out.  This means it must be very dark in the room - pitch black.  If you are on the bottom then your face falls back and your skin smooths out and the wrinkles fall away.  However, now your boobs are trying to escape and hide in your armpits.  These are tough choices to make and require careful consideration.  One the one hand, I am glad I am alone.  On the other, I wouldn't mind meeting someone who is ready for the challenge of playing "gravity games - find the disappearing boobs."

Can you tell I must have a birthday coming up?  I am feeling somewhat melancholy over it.  I think this is because I was invited to a very dear friend's 60th birthday party - a surprise thrown by her wonderful children.  She looks absolutely marvelous and to all intents appears to be taking the age in stride - perhaps even revelling in it.  However, on my way to the party, I happened to tell a member of my family where I was going and he reacted with surprise "Wow!  She's really 60?  She sure doesn't look it.  In fact, no offence Holly, but you look older than she does."  Right - no offence taken.  By the way, please send all contributions to my bail fund.  One day I am going to snap this family member's neck and will need to bail myself out of jail.

Well, off to spend a long weekend ordering in Chinese dinner (for which I will be thankful) and watching all my saved up recordings of Burn Notice. (fantastic show by the way).

Stay tuned.