Monday, November 29, 2010

Ladies and Gentlemen - we have a winner!

After attempting to jump back into the dating fishing pond, I do believe I have landed a whopper. 

So, I met Mr. #11 for coffee on Saturday and ordered my usual tea while looking at the clock ready to time my retreat.  He appears normal - no second head or hump on his back (I can tell because his jacket hangs correctly).  He speaks english and appears to comprehend what I am saying.  I am enjoying the conversation and thinking I can stop looking at the clock when it happened.

After returning from the mens room, "Tom" sits back down with a grin from ear to ear.  I should have been more on the ball when he began sniffing a lot and rubbing his nose.  His voice got a little louder and he seemed to be a little antsy.  He then started to tell me how much he liked my smile and how I seemed "smart' (oy vey - where's my bus?).  He wants to know if he can see me again because he thinks that I am the smartest person he may know (not possible -since I was still sitting there).  You ready for the winning line?  " Are your parents retarded?  Because you sure are special!"

Holy crap!  How do you respond to that?  All I could come up with was "which hospital do you want me to call for you?"  I guess the line of coke he did in the bathroom gave him the courage to be stupid in public.

I feel like I am in the middle of a grand joke.  Someone is setting me up and planting these yokels on line for me.  I am most certainly a freak magnate.  A recap is in order:

1) the hugger
2) the poisoner
3) the alcholic gun collector
4) the "don't feel obligated to put out" guy
5) the paranoid 'spy' guy
6) the good conversationalist (with a wee drinking issue it turns out)
7) the retarded guy

I think I have been a pretty good sport.  I will continue only because, like the freeway accident we all have to stop and look at, such is my life.  I think I am also a bit of a voyeur - my curiosity is such that I really want to see what will happen next.  I can't leave mid-way through the show.

No dates this week as I am planning on Christmas shopping, baking and decorating.  This coming weekend I have the grandkids for our annual decoration, wrapping and Santa parade time.  I think they are the best dates to have.  No judging.

Anyway, will keep you posted.


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