Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Proof of a Tech Underground

I happen to have proof now that there is an underground tech consipracy against me personally. 

At my previous employment I was the brunt of too many to count tech issues.  In my almost 6 years at the firm I was the proud owner of 5 differnet laptops.  Each time I had issues they would send me a "new" one.  This was usually a laptop that was already on its last legs but they would manage to hobble it together and with I am sure were snide giggles amongst themselves decide to send it to me to see how long it would take before I lost my mind.  In one case, I had been having more problems than I could even keep track of and was on the phone daily with the IT department begging for a new computer so I could function.  I was told to just keep 'rebooting' as "it still has plenty of life left."  I did this for a few weeks when one day, I smelled smoke and then saw the sparks and my laptop screen suddenly became the blue screen of death.  I called the IT department and told them of the problem.  They suggested I just let it cool off and try again.  I tried to explain to the little pisher, "it is on fire.  I am pretty sure waiting for it to cool down will have no affect."  The kid wanted to know if I was sure.  I said "the fire is kind of a moot point now.  I threw it in the sik with lots of cold water so as to ensure that the entire office did not go up in flames and then I took it down to the garbage incinerator.  Please send me a new laptop."

Well, in the 10 minutes that I have been with my new firm I have spent 9 of those minutes dealing with the new IT department.  Nothing is working.  I started to do some digging to ensure that none of the former employer's IT techs were now employed with my new employer.  They are not here.  This leads me to believe that there is an underground network working surreptiously to get at me specifically.  I am not paranoid - I have been tested.  I now have proof that they are in business just to make me lose my mind.  Well, I won't let them.  I have decided to fight back.  Everytime I recieved a call today that required me to access any technology, I gave the person calling the phone number of the tech department with the direct line to the last Bozo I dealt with.  I will continue this until they fix my problems - all my problems.  This includes my problems with Telus, my landlord, my children and my oven (which a story in of itself).

Not much else exciting at the moment since I am no longer downtown.  With the exception of this afternoon.  I was looking out my window which overlooks highway 1 at Willingdon and Canada Way.  Out of nowhere this woman jumped from the bushes from the highway side.  At the same time a silver Toyota pulled into the cul-de-sac in front of the office.  She ran toward it and grabbed the back door and tried to open it.  The car took off with a squeal of the tires and pulled to the sidewalk about 100 meters away.  She hurried to the car and again tried to open the back door.  It was obviously not opening.  She then appeared to speak to the passenger in the front seat while trying to open the door.  The next thing I knew she started to swing her bag in the car and kick the side door.  The car sped away.  My guess is the poor woman was short changed on her transaction in the bushes.  But that is just me - not paranoid, just nosey.

Stay tuned for more

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Lotsa stuff

So, where do I begin?  Since I last left off I have been a very busy girl.  I had a wee holiday, started a new job, had a trip to Niagara Falls and took the wrong bus to nowhere.

I began my vacation immediately following my last day at my previous employer.  I picked up my wee pack of grandkids for a few days of fun and frolicking at the PNE, Vancouver Island and the water park.  We had a blast at the PNE.  We arrived on a day they happened to have the track open for thoroughbred racing.  We went in to watch a race.  We were at the parade ring as they began saddling up and I made a comment about how number 2 looked jumpy enough to jump right out of his skin.  I said he would most likely do well as we began walking to the rail to watch the race.  As we passed by the betting window, I asked the kids if they would like to each have $2 to bet on the horse of their choice.  Then we would cheer on our horse to win the race.  The kids were excited and having heard what I said 2 of the three chose #2 to win and the third picked #3 and I also liked #6.  We placed our bets.  I bet on both #2 & #6.  We then took our place at the rails and cheered and yelled and holy cow!  We won!  They came in - 2, 6, 3.  The kids won $11.70 each and I won $47.40.  Not a bad way to start.  However, I may being paying for this for years to come.  Dragging the kids out of there after they won was only accomplished by the promise of ice cream and the superdogs show.  I have created the next generation of gamblers.  Oh well, given their genetics it would have happened sooner or later anyway.  I must tell you though, that money was burning holes in their little pockets.  After a very very very long day at the fair it was home to bed as we had to get up early to head for the ferry and a campout in the great grandparents back yard. 

We had a blast on the island.  However, a wee glitch when it was mentioned to the children that they may need a horn to scare away any racoons that might try to get into the tent during the night.  They clung to me so tightly when I got into the sleeping bag I could barely breath.  We spent out time playing on the beach collecting shells before the tide came in and when it did, we piled into cars and headed off to another beach and water park for a picnic.  What can I say, it was fun to watch and play all day.  As we packed up and headed to the ferry for the ride home the kids began asking when we could return.  Great Grandparents have better toys than grandparents.  Silence fell in the car and snoring began before we had even turned the corner.  They awoke with renewed energy for the ferry ride home - just as mine was waning.  The following day was spent at the water park on Granville island.  My energy level was most certainly ebbing as we made our way home at the end of the day.

As I drove away from my daughter's home after dropping the kids back, my personal holiday began.  I had 4 days of reading and relaxing ahead of me and I was looking forward to it.  I finished 2 books just in time to pack a suitcase and head to Niagara Falls on the Saturday to begin my new job.

The Falls themselves are beautiful.  The town is about the tackiest place I have ever seen?  What to dinosaurs have to do with the falls?  There were at least 4 places regarding pre-historic times.  Also, along with Ripley's Believe it or Not, there were too many horror shops to count.  What's up with that?  Personally, the only correlation I can see is between horror and the many folks who go there to get married or honeymoon.  I know I equate marriage to a horror movie but hey, that's just me.  It's not like I'm bitter or anything - just stating facts.  It's no one's fault but mine that I married idiots.  But I digress.

The first night was fun and easy - dinner and conversation with my new boss.  The next day I was given a tour of the place by a new collegue.  On the surface, this was fine.  However, when I went to pay for lunch, I lost my wallet.  It appears when I went to replace it in my purse, I missed it altogether and my black wallet fell onto the black bench in a darkened corner of the Hard Rock Cafe.  When I discovered it missing, I ran back and the Hostess kindly handed it to me - minus the cash inside.  Oh well, live and learn - pay attention and reminder to buy bright pink wallet.

The evening was a welcoming reception and opening to the National Wealth Conference.  I had brought my best dress for the occassion.  Since I was about to meet 400 new people, I needed to make a good impression.  I did my hair and make-up and was relatively pleased with the results.  I stepped into my dress and slid the zipper up the side.  As I was about to take a twirl in front of my mirror I felt a draft.  I looked down to see that while I had indeed zipped up, my zipper did not actually function as a closing device.  It was broken.  The draft was the air coming in and playing along the fat roll of my belly.  Not a good impression.  After changing clothes, the rest of the evening went well.

To make a long story shorter - the following also happened:  1) the iron in my room spilled rust out on my new blouse that I was ironing to go with my new suit so I could make a good impression on the first day of conference. 2)  lost bank card when leaving hotel in a hurry.  3)  lost shoe on ride at Marine Land during adventure night with fellow conferencees.  4)  missed bus back to hotel  5)  ate $12 hotel room cashews because I slept through dinner one night  6)  had horrible head cold that turned to flu and spent one afternoon throwing up in my room.

Other than all that - it was a fun trip.

I am now on day four in my new office.  It's an ugly office in an out of the way place that requires some effort to get to.  However, it will not be for long as the lease is up soon and as per my contract, I have a say in where we move to.  Having tried public transit for the first time today, it cannot be soon enough.

So, we are up to today.  It started off well.  My brother is heading over to the island for a few days and I assured him he could take the truck as I am sure I could figure out transit all by myself (remember, it only took me three minutes by transit at previous employer).  How hard could it be?  Well, it started as the #84 bus to a different train station where I would then transfer after a 10 minute or so ride, to the train.  I would then depart the train about 10 minutes later at Brentwood Mall and catch "any" bus (I was told " any " being the key word) as they all go down the hill from that station to where I wanted to go.  I want the name of that dumb broad at Translink.  I want her boiled in oil.  I followed the crowd across the street to the bus stop and when one arrived I got on with a bunch of other folks for what should have been a 2-3 minute ride to my desitination.  Imagine my surprise when my bus, instead of going over the overpass and stopping right outside my office, veered right and headed back to the freeway and my home.  I began to panich and pull the cord with all my might.  Perhaps if I shed a few tears the driver would let me out on the freeway and I would walk back.  Alas, he yelled instead.  I ened up about 10 minutes later on Hastings at the first stop after the freeway.  I held my head high - this is actually better and what I wanted to do anyway - and crossed the street to await another bus to take me back so I could start all over again.  Needless to say, not a good impression for staff when the boss can't even find her way to work.  Turns out Donuts will by that respect right back.

Anyway, as you can imagine, starting a new job is frought with technical difficulties but I figure in 10-12 months, I will have it down pat.

Stay tuned - lots more to come.