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Thursday, March 3, 2011

New Adventure ahead

Well, RRSP season is over for another year and on the upside, I survived - barely.  As you already know, this year it took its toll on me - see misplaced car and the hair debacle.  That's not all that happened to me.

Sometime during the last couple of weeks, someone snuck into my room at night and slowly began letting the air out of my face and replaced it with extra folds, a beard and side burns.  I fully noticed what happened when I got out of the shower on Tuesday night.  I was towel drying my head when my right hand brushed down the side of my face.  What the hell??????  I had to pull out an extra desk lamp and magnified mirror and lo and behold, I was looking at someone else.  Sure, she had my nose and eyes, but it was my grandfather's face with my father's beard.  I was suddenly looking at my brother - only I have hair.

I quickly grabbed the tweezers and began the arduous task of cleaning up my face.  What seemed like hours later, I had to admit I had done the best I could under the circumstances.  I looked at the results and while pleased I no longer looked like the wolfman, I was displeased that I looked every inch my age plus some.

So....based on the fact that I am approaching a milestone this year, I have decided to embark on a new adventure.  By the time the actual day roles around this year, I plan on meeting it as a new me.  I would say improved me, but I feel I have already improved enough with age.  I have about 8 months to go through the process. 

Tomorrow I have a 9:00am appointment for consultation with a plastic surgeon.  Now, before anyone gets their knickers in a twist, I have no intention of going under the knife.  My plan is to have my face filled with silly putty.  I am going to ignore the laugh lines around my eyes for now since I laugh all the time and they will just come back.  Besides, they are well worn badges of honor.  No matter what crap has been thrown my way I have met it with a smile and a laugh.  They have been earned.  The silly putty is to fill in the space around my nose and mouth where someone sucked the air out of my face.  I understand it is quite wonderful stuff.  Next will come the jowls.  Whoever painted jowls on me is gonna pay for this.  I now fully understand the wonderfulness that comes with wearing a burka. 

After my consultation tomorrow, I will make some decisions on what to start with.  I have taken Monday and Tuesday off so that if I have something done I will be at home in case my face explodes (or worse - implodes).   After everything settles, I will have new pictures taken and start my adventures in dating over again.

However, all of this will be moot if I win the 50 million on Friday.  If I get a piece of that pie, I will have all the face work done at once, buy me a boy toy and head for the south of France.  I will send ya'll a postcard.

Stay tuned.  The new adventure is about to begin.  Cool

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