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Monday, July 15, 2013

Blog Broke

Sorry I have been late in my recent postings.  My blog broke.  Not sure what happened but each time I tried to update, it fell into disrepair.

So much has happened of late that I hardly know where to begin.  Summer has been wildly wonderful and oddly wierd for me so far.

I am pretty sure somewhere there are eyes watching me so what I have to tell you must stay between just us for fear I will be arrested for breaking the child labor laws.

Xavier came to my office to help me out for a couple of days.  I put him to work at reception making file folders, photocopying and cleaning.  All it cost me was a ticket to the BC Lions football game, all the snacks he could throw back and $15 cold hard cash.  He was actually a big help and it was fun to have him around.

During our lunch break, he asked "are you the boss of everyone?".  "Why yes, I am - of everyone - including you and your mother."  "Really?"  "Yep, that's why I have the big office."  "Does my mom know?"  Ahh, now there's the rub.  Not sure she ever really believed that I was the boss of her.  However, in reality, all that matters is that I know I am the boss of her.  Lucky for her, her performance reviews have remained mostly positive. 

Work has been crazy - everything that could go wrong has and I have been on the recieving end of many an angry phone call.  Lucky for them, I am even tempered.  I found myself with just 5 minutes to spare before my next conference call - just enough time to head to the ladies room.  In my haste I did not notice upon leaving the facilities, that my dress was caught on the door hinge.  I kept moving, my dress did not.  I found myself feeling a distinct breeze as I hurried down the hall.  My dress was torn apart at the seams.  I had no choice but to listen to the call as I scrounged around for safety pins to hold it together.  Lucky for me, the dress was flowy rather than form fitting.  It would have been overly embarrassing to have my stomach fat filter out through the pins for the rest of the day.

I was rewarded for all my hard work by attending my cousins 50th birthday party last weekend.  It was a great time with great company.  My favorite wee people attended and immediatly set to exploring the house.  As they stood in the game room, Rae asked what the big table was for.  When I explained it was for pool, a look of confusion passed over her face.  "Do you swim on it?"  Her brother gave her a hard time but said he would teach her.  It was quite comical to witness him making up rules.  She finally decided to play the piano instead.

I had a couple of road trips since my last update.  One went well and one went the Holly kind.

I was waiting in line at security - ready for my usual search - when I was taken aside and asked what my 1oz, Channel atomizer was.  When I explained the security officer was confused.  I reached for it and was going to show her how it works by twisting the top till the mister pops up.  This is apparently not allowed.  Do not reach across the beltway of the screener.  I had another officer immediately show up behind me and grab my arm.  The woman with the atomizer then took the top...... and broke it off.  Nice.  It was then explained to me that I shouldn't have brought it with me if I didn't want it broken.  I was not a happy camper and had a chat with the supervisor who said I should have put it in my checked baggage.  Since this was a day trip, this seemed a moot point.  I also explained that 1oz is allowed - "yes, but not if we don't know what it is."  "It says Channel right on the side."  "What if we do not understand what Channel is?"  This was going to be a long day.  Little did I know exactly how long it was going to be.

I made it to my gate on time.  My plane did not.  Did you know you cannot fly to Williams Lake on a Thursday?  I had to fly to Kamloops, rent a car and then drive the 2 1/2 hrs to my meeting in Williams Lake.  It would ahve been 2 1/2 hrs had it not been for construction and holiday travellers.  I was 1 1/2hrs late for my meeting.  I was supposed to fly back from Kamloops that evening.  In my booking of the trip, I had it down to the last minute with even 30 minutes to spare to pop in and surprise my old friend whose birthday it was.  My meeting ran late.

As I dashed through the rain and lightening to my car in a valiant attempt to still try to make my flight, it became quite apparent this was not going to happen.  I called Air Canada.

AC: "Due to heavy call volumes, the wait time for response will be between 53min and 1hr 13min.  If you would like us to call you back, press 1"
HM:  I pressed one and waited while continuing to drive.  Hail started coming down
AC: "We are returning your call.  What can I do to help you?"
HM:  "I need to cancel my flight for this evening and get re-booked on the first available flight in the morning."
AC:  "Let me see what I can do"
HM:  "I am calling from my car so the sooner the better in case I lose you."
AC:  "I am doing my best ma'am"
HM:  "great"
AC:  "I can get you on at 6am.  That will be an additional $197.  It is much more costly to book travel at the last minute."
HM:  "I am not booking at the last minute.  I just need to change flights.  I realize there will be a charge but it is usually minimal which is why I booked under the Flex plan."
AC:  "this is not covered as you are actually cancelling one flight and booking another."
HM:  "Huh?"
--------------------------------------  LINE IS DISCONNECTED------------------------------

CRAP!!!!!!  However, because I am a positive person, I am thinking this woman will call me back since she knows I waited an hour the first time and knows that I am travelling.  Of course I am wrong and have to call AC again.  This time the message is "the wait time will be between 1hr 13min and 1hr 54min"  Ever the optimist, I again left my number for a call back and continued driving. 

In the meantime, I decided to call the hotel I usually stay at in Kamloops to book a room.  The only one left was a suite - for $279.  I then called Enterprise car rental and asked what the cost was to just drive the stupid call 6 hours home that night.  The cost was $400.  "You guys are nuts!"  I rent from you people every other week and you want me to pay $400????"  I will bring it back and pick up from Avis who will only charge me $200"  I got the deal.  It will be easier for me to plead my case with my boss for driving home when I tell him that it was cheaper to drive than to re-book my flight and stay at the hotel.

I began the long trek through the canyon to Vancouver.  Every trucker was on the road that night - all save one, doing 10MPH.  That one was going so fast I couldn't keep up and his trailer was swinging around so much that I just let him have at it.

Did you know that at night, there is no where to pee between Cache Creek and Chilliwack?  For 3 1/2 hours I did the peepee dance in my seat.  When I finally pulled into Chilliwack at 1:30 in the morning, I almost bowled a woman over in Tim Horton's in my effort to get to the ladies room.  I was still an hour from home - during normal times.  The construction on the highway due to the new bridge had it single lane for the last 30km.  I crawled through my front door at just about 2:45am and set my alarm for 7am as I had to return the car by 8am.  Friday was a very long day.

I am off to Toronto, Saskatoon and Regina next week - without my atomizer of course.  I am soooo looking forward to the next long weekend.  I am thinking of rallying for all weekends to be long and looking for signatures to make it happen.  I think it would solve some of the work problems as well as increase productivity.  Of course, I live in a dream world where everything goes my way for periods longer than 8 hours at a stretch.

Now that I think I have fixed my broken blog and my broken dress, I will keep you posted.

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