Friday, May 11, 2012

If you happened to pick.....

If you happened to pick Edmonton as the place where my luggage would end up during my 5 day, 4 province, 9 meeting whirlwind of a trip, go out and buy yourself a lottery ticket because you are the lucky winner of "guess where Holly's luggage goes".

This trip was considered mildly successful - none of my teeth fell out and I only broke 2 nails.  My luggage only made one side trip.  When I landed in Regina and discovered my luggage was not there, I didn't even get upset.  I was secretly hoping my bag ended up in Bermuda and I would be forced to retrieve it in person.  However, as I settled into my room at The Delta hotel, I was a little disappointed when a knock at my door found me staring at an Air Canada employee holding my suitcase which never made it out of Edmonton.  That was a little dissappointing.

Only a couple of other issues popped up during the next few days as I hopped in and out of taxi's, ate on the run and listened to people complain.  I ran out of clothes by Thursday morning.  Turns out eating on the run leads to spillage.  I had no more tops without stains. Add to that, the only 'summerlike' top I had ended up with ketchup on it as I got dressed while eating breakfast in my room standing up.  It was going to be 27 degrees in Winnipeg.  I had an idea.  I had packed a black skirt and black blazer.  If I turned my white tank top backwards under the jacket, no one would see the stain.  The next problem came when I put the skirt on.  It was black - I had no pantyhose - I was standing looking in the mirror at a woman whose legs were as white as the q-tip I was holding.  That was quite a sight to behold.  I looked like an icecream sandwich - black and white.  This would not work.  How could I inspire a sense of dignity and respect when I looked like that.  The only thing I could do was put on the only slacks still in good shape - they were wool.  I found a pink blouse with only one small stain and I could wear a necklace to cover it.

Do you know what wool pants are like in 27 degree heat?  I have a nicely developed rash.

I would like to say my week ended with a giant bright spot but I have been left with a deep concern over my certain onset of senility.    I am worried about my eyesite and memory.

Let me paint the picture for you:

Thursday night, I slip on my sweatpants and my Vancouver Canucks t-shirt after a swim in the hotel pool.  I decide to go for a walk.  The elevator arrives and I step on.  Inside a tall skinny older man is waiting for me to enter.  He makes a comment about the Canucks and how it is too bad they are out.  He is impressed how  fervent Vancouverites are about their hockey and makes a comment about last years riot.  He likes Vancouver.  He was there earlier in the week. 

The evelvator doors open and I am assaulted by screaming.  I am a little discombobulated.  I look out the lobby window and a whole bunch of people are outside screaming and jumping around.  The man from the elevator disappears into the crowd.  I go off to the side and the Porter who has been helping me the last couple of day's is standing there.  I ask him what's going on.  He tells me that Van Halen is playing Winnipeg that night.  Yeah so?  So that was them! 

HUH????  It seems, according to the porter, I just rode down in the elevator with David Lee Roth and I had no idea.  I did not recognize the man. 

I am worried.  What happens if I end up in the same elevator as George Clooney and I don't even recognize him?  My life will be over.  If I can't recognize George what's the point of living?  What if the only people I can recognize now are cartoon characters like the Simpsons?

The weekend before I left I got to spend it with my favorite wee man - Xavier.  He had been promised a new Lego set for having his appendix out.  Off we went to Toys R Us to pick something out.  It was so much fun to watch his head almost spin right off his little shoulders.  He had a set price to work with and some hard decisions to make.  Watching him try to make up his mind how to spend his money and pick out the best Lego set was interesting as he tried to negotiate what he could really get.  He could get three figurines and one set or 2 smaller sets.  I could see him brain humming.  After almost 2 hours he finally settled on 2 smaller sets for the same price. 

We then spent the rest of the day, night and most of the next day trying to put them together.  The boxes said you have to be 8yrs old to buy these.  Good thing because if you are much older, you will never figure it out.  He worked steady and studiously.  I had a headache.  Basically, my role was to search for pieces while he put it all together.  We had a great time.

Well, after one day in the office next week, I am taking the rest of the time off for holiday.  Hopefully, something exciting will happen.  I am really looking forward to it.

Stay tuned - I am getting a hair cut and having my picture taken so I can go back online and find my prince charming.

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