Saturday, February 25, 2012

For want of a couch

A mind was lost. 

After many weeks of searching, I finally found a new sofa.  I really liked it - it 'spoke' to me.  It was purple with deep seated cushions.  I named her Sheila.  Sheila was delivered to my home last Friday at 9am.  I had cleaned and organized my living room and made a new home for Sheila.  I was looking forward to a deeply rewarding relationship where I would spend Sunday afternoons curled up on Sheila with a good book.

Sheila disappointed me.  She would not willingly go up my stairs to the living room.  She had decided in the 3 days since our first meeting that she did not want to come and live with me so she grew an additional 3 inches ensuring that she would not fit.  Too bad for her.  She was sent packing back to the warehouse and my search began again.

The following day after this debacle of embarassment, I found myself heading to IKEA with a friend.  In the very first showroom, I found her.  She had been waiting there all along for me to come by to claim her.  I named her Shelley.  She was the right length, having guaranteed me she would not grow any longer, had the right ass to knee ratio and the perfect firmness.   Not to mention, Shelley met the aforementioned "sick factor".  Shelley also was available in various colours.  She chose red.  I was very excited.  Finally, my home would have a perfect red sofa with the perfect red seat and the perfect red length.  She was to be delivered the next morning.

Sheldon arrived in my home at 10:30am.  Turns out Shelley has a brother who is slightly longer, slightly firmer and slightly redder.  I was not aware that Shelley sent Sheldon to our home until I finished building him 2 hours later and I was left scratching my head trying to figure out what was wrong.  Don't get me wrong, I like Sheldon but he's no Shelley.  However, having now spent a week with him, I can admit that Sheldon does provide me with the comfort needed for a couch cuddle on a Sunday afternoon.  Sheldon also meets the required "sick factor", just not quite as softly as Shelley did.  Ah well, I will get used to him and learn to enjoy his comfort for the next 10 years.

After Sheldon made himself at home, I was packed off for a week in Toronto.  I was not looking forward to it.  I had nightmares about someone stepping on the recovering toe or jostling my healing rib.  Not to mention, I was not looking forward to the long days, the longer nights and the cold.  Also, I have yet to have a trip to the centre of the universe that went well.  Turns out, this was not to be the trip.

So I arrived at the centre of the universe at 1:30am and at my hotel by 2:15am after having a heated discussion with the airline personnel over the damage to my luggage.  Seems it is a problem of someone else or possibly I, myself, ripped my bag before loading it.  I wasn't even angry.  I figured that if that was the worst that was going to happen then I could live with it.  In essence, I was lulled into a false sense of security thinking the rest of my trip would go off without a hitch.

Day one of meetings ensued without a problem.  I slept better that night and was refreshed for another round of meetings.  I arrived at the office at 8:45am ready to go.  I set up my laptop and books and headed to the kitchen to grab a cup of tea.  I popped a piece of gum in my mouth while I waited for my tea to ready.  Just as I was turning to leave, I felt something happen.

You may recall the dentist who broke my tooth during a routine root canal.  As you may also recall, that tooth finally broke right in half during my last trip to Toronto.  Well, the tooth beside that one was a false post.  A $1200 false post.  Seems it was being helped in place by the broken tooth.  Seems that a piece of Juicy Fruit gum was a dangerous weapon for me to have.  The tooth, post and all,  just fell right out.  I now have a problem and everytime I was to speak up during the meeting it had to be behind a hand over my mouth.  Tough to look commanding with a hole in my face.

Anyway, I made it through the day without anyone being the wiser.  I thought that was the end of it.  One damaged suitcase, one broken tooth.  That should be the end of it.

The following morning I awoke thinking I could face another round of meetings and then head home.  Turns out, when lulled into the false sense of security thinking the worst is over, one does not pay as much attention to ones surroundings.  So, imagine my surprise to discover that there was a new 2 inch rise on the shower in my hotel room.  I think they must have added it while I was at the office the day before because I was sure I managed to step into my shower without a problem the day before.  I slammed my broken toe into the side and my cheek into the wall and as I tried to gain my purchase before I did any more damage, I broke two nails - just to add insult to injury.

My flight home took 7 hours.  It was supposed to be 5hrs, 15minutes.

I am home for a week and then back to the centre of the universe on the 4th for another week of adventure.  I will be truly amazed and may even start to believe in miracles if it is uneventful and I return home in time for my granddaughter's 6th birthday in one piece.

Stay tuned

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