The Sick Factor

So I was finally able to drive today.  I can look over my shoulder and turn right now.  The rib is starting to heal nicely.  The stupid toe though is another matter.  How come you always stub your toes when they are hurt?  I swear, I can actually feel my heart beating in my toe.

Anyway, with the world at my feet on a Saturday, I ventured outdoors.  I am in search of a living room sofa.  While we are settling in nicely into our new home and it is starting to come together, missing living room furniture makes it feel somewhat empty. 

I had found a liquidation sale of living room and kitchen furniture.  I ventured inside to see if it was cheap stuff at a cheap price or decent stuff at a reasonable price.  I have been to four stores and always have the same problem.  I cannot locate a sofa with the 'sick' factor.

I always start the conversation with the salesman the same way.  "I don't know exactly what I want but I will know it when I see it,  I do know it has to have the sick factor though."  They always look at me the same way as if they are going to humor me as I am obviously slightly touched in the head or they have misheard me and don't want to admit it.  "It CANNOT be leather," I say.

The Sick Factor will not allow for a leather couch.  The sick factor = when you are home sick from work and don't want to lay in bed any longer, isolated from the world, you want to lay on the couch and be comfortable while you are sick.  You cannot get comfortable on a leather couch when you are sick.  You will slide around and make crinkly noises when you move.  How can one possibly dose on a leather sofa when one is ill?  Perhaps it would be different if I had a budget for the really soft and wonderful leather but I happen to be on a beer budget so the leather I get shown is most likely pleather which is the noisiest of all the leathers.

I found a sofa that I might like.  It hit right at knees and it met the sick factor but it was a kind of gun metal grey that I might have difficulty living with later.  I found another sofa that I really liked and it met all the sick factor requirements but it was lime green.  Both were the right size for my living room.  If there was a way to meet in the middle somewhere I might be happy.

I didn't realize buying a sofa would be so problematic.  I chose my wedding dress in less time - both of them.  Now that I think about it, that might have been part of the problem.  Perhaps if I spent more time searching out the perfect dress, I might have had better luck in the marriage department.  Actually, the more I really think of it, perhaps if I had spent the same amount of time searching for a husband as I have for this stupid sofa, things would have turned out better.

I can divulge that at the last furniture store, the liquidation centre, the salesman thought perhaps I would prefer a love seat since I mentioned the small space.  He kept leading me towards these leather sofas and I kept saying no and please don't show me anymore of them when he decided that leather was not my problem, the sofa was the problem and he pulled me down onto this butt ugly loveseat.  I almost fell in his lap.  He explained that quite often, women like me (what the frack??) prefer the loveseat style for those cozy nights in front of the fire.  He gave me his card and told me to call him, with a wink.  What the hell does that mean?  Genreally speaking though, I would rather poke my eye out with a fork.

Anyway, I will be hitting a few more stores next weekend when I can turn left left so I will keep you posted on the search for the perfect sofa.

Stay tuned