That was last year. Fast forward to another function last week. I refused to behave as I did last time and face the ridicule of my friends. I would stand and face him and behave like an adult or die trying. With wine glass in hand, I sat down beside him and started a conversation. I was cool. I was calm. I laughed in all the right places. 20 minutes later I was done. My dream had died and I was gently tapping my friend (out of his line of sight) to get me outta here.
He was the rose and his bloom fell off the stem and along with it my girlish crush. Not exactly sure what happened. It might be that he just started to speak and that was it. It might be that the fantasy of my dream was much better than the reality. I felt deflated. What the hell is wrong with me that I am destined to spend my life alone except for the house full of cats and rocking chairs? Can't be that I am too picky - let us not forget I have been married twice - to men who, kindly put, were not the sharpest knives in the drawer. I wasn't picky then. Perhaps the term now should be persnickety. I have let my old age creep in and take over. Pretty soon I will be carrying hard candies in my sweater and rolled up kleenex in my sleeve. Nice image.
On the upside, I had a date with my favorite wee man on Friday night. We watched a movie and ate junk food. The following morning we went shopping downtown as he had $4 that was burning a hole in his pocket and he simply HAD to go to the dollar store. Afterwards we picked up his sisters so they could help me decorate the tree in time for the Santa parade on Sunday. I have attached a photo of the tree for you. It appears to be leaning a little south and is somewhat bottom heavy.
We never made it to the parade. It was raining and the thought of sitting on a sidewalk in the rain was not appealing so we went to a movie instead. Turns out it stopped raining moments after we set foot in the theatre.
After the movie the real fun began. I raced the children home as I had a very short time to get to the airport for a quick trip to Edmonton (is there any other kind?). I arrived at the airport at 6pm for my 7:30 flight.
I was still waiting for my flight at 8:15 when the fire alarm in the airport went off followed by the announcement "Please be aware the fire alarm has been activated somewhere in the terminal. We will keep you informed." Oddly, we all just sat there doing nothing. This act was repeated 4 more times. During that time frame, Air Canada also announced that we would now be delayed until 8:45pm. At 9:10pm they again announced the delay with the additional info "we are searching for pilots for your flight. We will keep you posted." Hmm, what the heck happened to our pilots? Was this the new Air Canada and I had inadvertently been booked on a seat sale where the first to board also gets to fly the plane? At 10:15pm another announcement was made - "We have located pilots from another flight who will be making their way to our gate to ensure we make it to Edmonton. They live in the area so should be here soon."
The waiting area was about to revolt. I was hungry. I went in search of food. Most places were closed by this time but I did manage to find a sandwich place in the international area (which apparently I was not supposed to be in). For $16.90 I was able to purchase a chicken salad sandwich and a cup of grapes.
Fast forward...I landed in Edmonton shortly after 1am - in a blizzard. My cab driver took me to the wrong hotel and left before we figured it out. My next cabbie got me to the right hotel just moments before the clock struck 2am. I no longer had feeling in my feet.
My alarm was set for 6:30am so that I could be in my meeting for 8am.
The day whizzed by with the help of 4 cups of tea and 3 diet cokes (I hate pop but needed the caffiene). Round about 3:30pm, I was asked "don't you have to be at the airport?" "Yep, but I don't have to leave until 3pm as my flight is at 5pm". Turns out my laptop did not change time with the zone change. Try getting a cab in Edmonton after a blizzard drops 6" of snow on the ground. Once again I was to play OJ through the airport.
It would not be as simple as getting a cab, getting to the airport, get through security and board my plane. I got the cab, I made it to the airport with 20 minutes to spare....that is until....it happened. The cabbie broke my briefcase. He lifted it from the trunk by the rolling handle rather than the regular handles. I love this briefcase. It was a birthday gift from my dad and his wife. It is beautiful black leather and it is on wheels. It goes with me everywhere and is so much easier than hefting a big bulky thing weighted down with reports, binders and laptop through airports. I was so pissed off that my voice went up a number of octaves and I threatened to punch him right in his ovaries. This was after he offered to relieve me of my US cash before heading through customs on my way to Vancouver. I had asked him where he thought Vancouver was. He was not exactly sure but figured I needed my passport to get there. How long have you been in Canada I asked. 25 years. He deserved to be punched.
Needless to say, with my voice raised it caught the attention of the Edmonton airport cop on duty. He made me calm down or face the consequences. He assured me it would not be worth being charged with battery and he was pretty sure the cabbie did not have any ovaries.
I made it to my gate with what should have been seconds to spare. Turns out those seconds were the equivalent of 2 hours. They were out of deicing fluid. Of course they were.
I crawled through my front door - almost on my hands and knees at 9:30pm last night. On the brightside, my brother was able to fix my briefcase. Only good thing of the whole trip.
I am off to Campbell River tomorrow for 2 days. Becoming a Walmart Greeter is looking better and better.
Here is my tree.
Not sure who's head is in the picture. Kids don't believe in decorating the back side.
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