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Friday, April 1, 2011

Little blue duckie pajamas

The whole city has gone insane.  I think it might be due to the weather.  We have had one of the longest winters of dark, dreary and endless wet.  I have been cold since last August.  Due to this extended winter people seem to have gone nutso.

I was leaving the car park from my office and sitting there in the exit waiting for an opening in traffic when WHAM! I am hit.  Not what you would imagine but by an idiot who walked right into the side of my vehicle.  I actually watched it happen.  This bozo was walking down the sidewalk with his head down intent on his electronic device.  The nice and normal thing might have been to roll down my window and shout out that he was about to walk into my truck but like I said, the weather is making people insane.  I just sat there and watched it happen and THEN rolled down my window and asked him for his insurance papers so we could swap information after our accident.  He was not amused but the car park attendent sure was.

I took a break from a hectic day of emails from idiots and was staring out my window.  My attention was caught by a man walking down the street carrying his guitar while wearing his blue ducky pajamas underneath a pair of shorts and had the outfit topped off with two different colored socks and a pair of tassled loafers.  It got my imagination rolling.  I figured he was heading to join skinny white rapper guy.  They would have made quite the pair serenading the shoppers.  I raced down the stairs to see if this was the case.  Turns out blue ducky pj guy was not part of what could have been quite the musical duo but rather he had his own spot set up beside the hot dog vendor in front of London Drugs.  Hot dog guy looked pained.

The entertainment for the day was not over.  As I was making my way back to the office the sound of horns honking, tires screeching and then metal on metal crunching caught my attention.  I turned just in time to watch a large delivery truck take off the front fender of a small Mazda driven by a small asian woman.  She got out of her car and the driver out of his truck - tying up traffic on Seymour street - and began waving their arms at one another.  After about 30 seconds, a small boy jumped out of the front seat and started to yell at the truck driver who reached out to make like he was going to push the boy out of the way when the kid started to kick him in the shin and yell that he was now late for soccer because the truck driver was blind.  I LOVED that kid.  Unfortunately, the police then showed up and I couldn't see what else was going on.

To top off my day, I went to purchase a pair of jeans that I had been waiting to until payday to purchase.  The sales ladies could not have been more helpful in getting me the right pair and then searching for a top to go with them.  They kept them coming sure they could find me the exact match that would make me happy.  To begin with, I hate shopping and I really hate trying on clothes so I was getting antsy at how long this was taking and the number of tops they were bringing me to try on.  I finally found one that I really quite liked and stepped from the dressing room into the store to look in the mirror.  While I appreciate honesty where clothes are concerned since I actually have no taste of my own, I am not sure how much I appreciated hearing "Well, honey, the colour is lovely on you, however the shirt itself does not hide much of your back fat."  Nice - real nice.  The next top she brought me, I really liked.  I put it on and again left the safety of the change room - timidly.  I stood in front of the mirror admiring this really lovely top when I heard - as did everyone else in the shop "Well, honey what a unique way you have of dressing yourself.  I would never have thought of wearing the blouse that way."  She left me smiling at my reflection until I felt an itch in the middle of my chest.  I looked down and realized I had the top on backwards.  It was not meant to be a cowl-neck top.  Nice.  My status as a walking fashion faux paus stands.

Lastly, while walking the last two blocks to my house, I came across a man standing on the corner yelling up at some construction workers.  As I got closer, he turned to me and shouted "I am a Christian. I am not always a Christian but I am never a Muslim."  The construction workers were looking down on him wondering what he was mumbling about since I don't think they could really hear him.  I just smiled and continued on my way.  I was not to walk the last block home on my own.  I had his company while he explained that being a Christian was hard work.  I agreed, wished him a good night and unlocked the gate to my place.

It had been a long day - week - month.  In fact, so far 2011 has been a very long year.

Stay tuned.

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