Friday, July 22, 2011

Flirting 101

It seems there is a tradition that one is supposed to receive 50 items in the year one turns 50.  I am in favour of this tradition.  Since it seems to be a tradition, who am I to argue?  And in that tradition, I received a small gift of a book entitled "Flirting 101 - How to charm your way to love, friendship and success".

I will be the first to admit that my dating experiences have been somewhat abysmal and so am quite prepared to take any help I can get.  I can also tell you that if nothing else, this wee book has done wonders for creating opening lines.

For example, I have taken to carrying it in my bag everywhere so that I can take every opportunity to learn me real good the lessons needed in landing me a big one.  So, this morning on the train, I was standing there holding the rail and whipped out my trusty guide book.  I started to read the part entitled "Personal Branding".  I think I was laughing out loud when a gentleman leaned over and pointed at my book and asked me if it was working.  Since I had just finished the chapter on self-esteem, I answered "well, it got you talking to me so it must be working" and then I winked like I had been instructed.  He backed off immediately.  I think I had him till I winked.

When I got to the office I popped into the ladies room to see what I look like in the mirror when I wink.  Once I saw myself, I must admit, the man showed considerable restraint just by backing up.  I wanted to run screaming from the room.  I have no idea why I look like that when I wink but it is kinda scary.  My face goes all crooked and the left side scrunches up and my nostrils flare.  Whats up with that and how can I make it stop?  I will either have to take wink lessons or stop the practise altogether.

The part I am working on now, self branding, has me deciding what type of car I am (BMW - quick and sporty), what kind of animal I am ( Dragon - I have mystical powers - more about that later) - what kind of smell I am (donuts -self explanitory) and finally, what color am I (purple - strong and opinionated).

I plan to use the lessons learned today on branding when I enter the train this afternoon.  I will try to send out the vibe to all the males around me that I am a purple BMW that smells like donuts but is fierce like a dragon with the ability to turn them into toads if they do not play nice.

I will keep you posted on my lessons and progress.  I plan on having a date sometime during my holidays this summer.  I just have to decide who can handle the dragon.

Stay tuned

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