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Monday, June 13, 2011

Holy Schnikies!

So, it is game 6 of the Stanley Cup finals and hopefully the last.  I just went downstairs to Granville street to pick up some lunch - 90 minutes till game time and I could barely get around.  I have the perfect vantage point from my office to the giant TV screens set up on Georgia street for the game and have been watching people set up their lawn chairs since about 1pm.  If I had to hazard a guess, I would say there are already about 15,000 people seated in front of an empty television screen on Georgia street right now.  I can hear them cheering every few minutes.  Damned if I know what they are cheering at as the TV screen is black. 

They just set up another dozen or so porta potties in front of the Bank of Montreal.  The bank must just love that.

Last Friday I left the office at about 5:30pm and security had to assist me and a few others in leaving the building.  People were standing just outside our office door and I could not open it to leave.  It was wild and wacky down here.  People were dressed up in Canuck gear and colors - all but 2.  You must have heard of the green men by now.  Well, there were two young woman (at least I think they were women - by their size and the 2 bumps on their chest I think it is a fair assumption) who copied the green men - except all in red.  What that had to do with the Canucks I have no idea.  In anycase, they sure drew a crowd.  As did the silver man in skates and the full band that had set up at the corner of Granville and Robson.  It was like the Olympics all over again except the people are concentrated in just a 4 block area.

Well, other than the playoffs, I have had a very busy week.  I made my first video.  I am running (walking briskly) in the Easter Seals 24 hour relay this coming weekend (thank you to everyone who has sponsored me so far) and for fund raising you now make a goofy video instead of knocking on doors.  Holy crap!  They are not kidding about the camera adding ten pounds to you.  I appear to have had 8 cameras trained on me!  I forgot to brush my hair and am pretty sure I had poppy seeds stuck in my teeth.  Not a good omen.  I have never done anything like this before and am quite excited about it - especially after I discovered a real cutey is on my team. 

After discovering my future husband is on my team I flew into action.  First, I noticed via the video that my chest had disappeared.  Someone had stolen my bossoms.  This called for drastic measures and off I took myself in search of a new bra - one that would not only lift and separate but would give me a cleavage that would stop traffic.  A very nice clerk noticing my bewilderment at the enormous displays of various shapes, sizes, colours, water filled, gel filled, foam filled bras, offered to give me a professional fitting.  I was up for that. I explained I had been wearing the same size since puberty (save for the two pregnant years) and she said it was highly likely I was wearing the wrong size.  After she measured and told me the size, I burst into tears (not for the first time).  No one makes a pretty bra when you are built like a line backer (thanks again Dad).  Well, we dug around and finally found me two new ones in my size.  I must admit I was shocked and very pleased with the result.  I now have two separate boobs and they point south again and not north.  Now that that was completed, on to step two.  This involved getting a new outfit.  It might be a little difficult to run (walk briskly) in heals, full make up and jewelry but now that I have a very cute outfit with a full bosom, I am going to give it my best!  If he does not notice me after this then he must be gay.

I will keep you informed of my triumph this weekend and if you play your cards right, I might just invite ya'll to the wedding.

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